Prostate

It’s been a long glorious weekend—even longer and more glorious if you get Columbus Day off—but it’s safe to say you’ve been a little distracted from current events. So we’ve got another weekly report for you, with the latest in porn-less prisons, would-be billionaires and some uncomfortable news about prostate screenings.

THIS MIGHT GET WEIRD: That mandatory prostate screening you’d been dreading once you turn 50 might be more necessary than you think. On Thursday, the United States Preventative Services Task Force unveiled a report showing that the standard blood-test screening for prostate cancer—previously recommended for all healthy men over 50—may be resulting in more needless procedures than saved lives. That means less blood testing and more of the…uncomfortable kind of testing. Medical science cannot address this fast enough.

Prisoners

HUMAN RIGHTS WATCH, PENTHOUSE EDITION: Prison, much like Connecticut, can be kind of a drag—but they both just got a little worse. State officials took action this past week to officially ban pornography from all state prisons, apparently in a bid to make inmates even more frustrated and aggressive. The humanity! We try not to get too political here on Kempt, but we might be writing a few State Senators about this one.

Ron Wayne

THE APPLE CO-FOUNDER THAT WASN’T: In the wake of Steve Jobs’ passing, the Daily News tracked down the third apple co-founder—a 77-year-old video game designer named Ron Wayne—who pulled out his 10% stake after only two weeks as an investor, deciding he didn’t have the stomach for the startup life. That $2,300 would have been worth $35 billion today. We hope he spent it well.

Also, if you want to read an 1800-word speculative short story about Ashton Kutcher and the true meaning of hot-tub-worthiness, you will find that here.

You’re now officially ready for Monday.

—R.B.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Russell Brandom