Santacon

It was a good weekend.

We witnessed a breakthrough in touchdown celebrations, a borough sprang to the defense of the brave scientist who discovered the G spot, and, in New York, thousands of drunken Santas descended on Grand Central Station for a crazed dance party. Here’s what you may have missed…

HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS: The madness known as Santacon was visited upon New York, with loud, drunken men in red velvet costumes filling up public spaces from Grand Central Station to South Street Seaport. As of press time, no terrorist group has stepped forward to claim responsibility.

Newt Gingrich

A BETTING MAN: Newt Gingrich (yes, him) continued his dominance of the Republican primary field, handily addressing questions concerning his past marital infidelities and lobbying activities. The gaffe of the night came when Mitt Romney challenged Rick Perry to a $10,000 bet over the accuracy of his healthcare accusations, inadvertently revealing his personal wealth. This marks the first time a spur-of-the-moment $10,000 bet has ever gotten anyone into trouble.

Brandon Jacobs

THE DANCE OF SEDUCTION: It was a busy week for the NFL, but the highlight was this emotive, fearlessly sexual touchdown dance from the Giants’ Brandon Jacobs. As with any great art, we learned about what the artist was feeling and, more than that, we learned about ourselves.

Also, the Travel Channel nixed Anthony Bourdain’s tribute to the Krampus, and Brooklyn is battling over a statue of the man who discovered the G spot.

The week is yours, gentlemen.

—R.B.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Russell Brandom