There seems to be some misunderstanding when it comes to wearing sunglasses at night.

In short, you can’t.

Like pony tails and scarves indoors, they’ll make you look foolish. They’ll also make your friends talk shit about you while you’re feeding the meter on your Porsche out front. It’s kind of like wearing a hat at the dinner table, if the hat read “I’M OVERCOMPENSATING FOR UNSEEN DIMINUTIVES.”

With any style rule, of course, come the exceptions. We’ve identified seven in this case, which is why we titled this post:

The 7 Times It’s Okay to Wear Sunglasses at Night (So You Can, So You Can…)

1. So you can be blind.

 
2. So you can protect the President of the United States.

 
3. So you can be Jack Nicholson for Halloween.

 
4. So you can keep your 5:30pm eye-doctor appointment in December.

 
5. So you can rush for 200 yards on Monday Night Football.

 
6. So you can sell 150 million albums.

 
7. So you can kill Osama bin Laden.

 

Don’t masquerade with the guy in shades, oh no…

—C.B.S.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • C. Brian Smith