Richard Dawson, the Kissing Bandit, has died.

As you may recall, Kempt recently sauntered back to the Golden (Brown) Age of Game Shows, a glorious, sepia-toned era of wide lapels, sexual innuendoes and long-stemmed microphones gracefully held by extraordinarily tanned and charismatic gentlemen like Richard Dawson. “The way he was on [Family Feud] was the way he was in real life,” said Dawson’s son, Gary. “He not only wanted people to win, but to have a comfortable, great experience.”

Click here for a comfortable, great experience (survey says)…

In the process of researching our game show story last December, we stumbled upon this clip of Dawson’s estranged sons surprising him, on air, for his birthday. We’ll go ahead and call it the most poignant moment in game show history.

Elsewhere over the weekend…

BREAKING: CNN CALLS PRESIDENTIAL RACE TOO CLOSE TO CALL
According to a CNN poll released over the weekend, 49% of registered voters say that if the November election were held today, they would vote for Obama, while 46% say they would cast a ballot for Romney, the three-point margin being within the survey’s sampling error. This whole thing may very well be decided by a swimsuit competition after all.

TIGER BEING TIGER (THE BADASS ONE, NOT THE CREEPY ONE)
Four shots back at the start of the final round of the Memorial this weekend, Tiger Woods birdied three of the last four holes to take home the china. It was nice to see the red shirt once again dominating on a Sunday afternoon, and even nicer to see the sickest chip-in in recent memory.

IF YOU’RE IN THE MARKET FOR AN ARCTIC SUBMARINE CAVE…
The Royal Norwegian Navy is selling Olavsvern Naval Base for $17.5 million (or best offer). The property includes “a dry dock for submarines or boats, large sized workshops, an office space, a warehouse, a tunnel system, an emergency power system and fuel cells” and “can survive a nuclear attack.”

No word on the local school system.

—C.B.S.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • C. Brian Smith