Fall is a special season for many reasons.

For some, it’s football season. To others: sausage season (or motherfucking decorative gourd season).

But here on Kempt: it’s boots season. And that means choices.

With a vast sea of options out there—hiking, Chelsea, desert, cowboy, et cetera—it begs the question: what is your choice in fall footwear saying about you? So we graciously came up with this handy guide:

Understanding what your boots are saying about you, courtesy of Kempt.

 
Clarks Desert Boots: On a scale of one to “next-level,” these are a zero. But on a scale of one to “boots,” they’re solidly a six.

 
L.L. Bean Boots: I grew up in a small town in coastal Maine named after a nearly unpronounceable Indian tribe where I was weaned on lobster, stoicism and cold morning mist. (Or at least that’s what I’ve been telling people.)

 
Red Wing 875 Boots: I leave very long and personal comments on A Continuous Lean.

 
Yuketen Hunt Boots: I have broken the fourth wall of Americana.

 
Alden for J.Crew Indy Boots: I’m just one leather whip short of realizing my lifelong dream of becoming menswear’s Indiana Jones.

 
Oak Street Bootmakers Loden Hunt Boots: Hobbies: woodworking, lumberjacking, Pilates. (Also, do these make my beard look too bushy? Be honest.)

 
The Danner x Tanner Boots: “Hiking?” Why yes, I hike every day—to my third-floor walk-up in the West Village.

 
Cowboy Boots: I think I just hashtagged some cattle.

 
Crockett & Jones Chelsea Boots: It’s pronounced “dressage.”

—N.B.