The Good, the Bad and the Handsome from the November Men’s Mags
Every month, we thoroughly examine the contents of GQ, Details and Esquire, so you don’t have to. This month’s breakdown—starring Scarlett Johansson, the color green, hardcore layering, hiking volcanoes, ice baths, hand models, Corey Feldman, Weinergate, buying gold, champagne flutes, Australian soap operas and loads of eye candy—now.
GQ: Michael Fassbender, leaning against a car. Also, his eyes may or may not match the green of the “G” in GQ. Intentional? Likely.
Esquire: Scarlett Johansson, on the edge of a bed, proclaimed “The Sexiest Woman Alive.” Considering the photo, we’re inclined to agree.
Details: Chris Hemsworth, rocking a peacoat and trying to remind us that he’s not actually a Norse deity in real life.
GQ: Okay, maybe the whole “Fassbender’s eyes match the G” thing was just a coincidence, because they’ve also just named that same green “the color of the season.”
Esquire: A hefty dose of handsome timekeepers, Benedict Cumberbatch showing off some killer overcoats and Nick Sullivan’s defense to the death of a man’s right to emulate his great-grandfather via cardigan. (Who, according to the picture, would need to be Steve McQueen.)
Details: The gray flannel suit, heavyweight denim, structured leather bags, hardcore layering and what’s that? Technical-wear? Beat you to it, gents.
GQ: Adèle Exarchopoulos (below), hiding in the Table of Contents, page 44. And lest we forget Emily Ratajkowski, scantily clad as always in her spread starting on page 202.
Esquire: So. Many. Women. Jaimie Alexander telling jokes on page 48. Scarlett Johansson being sexy on page 118. Natalie Dormer (below) and a whole host of others on page 130. A good month for eye candy indeed.
Details: N/A, unfortunately. Luckily, Esquire has a few to spare, so here’s the lovely Ms. Megan Boone.
Food and Drink
GQ: Wine expert Jon Rimmerman (this month’s award winner for most snicker-inducing name) notes that champagne flutes are some kind of bullshit, and that you should throw them out in favor of something with a wider mouth.
Esquire: The “Encyclopedia of Eating Now” names New York’s own Betony as Restaurant of the Year. Also, it has an entry for “cronut.” Because of course it does.
Details: Applejack is popping up in craft fall cocktails across the country now ,we’re told. Go ahead and give one of them a try, as long as you know what that cocktail is saying about you.
GQ: A ringing endorsement here for hiking volcanoes and diving in crystal-clear waters near Grenada, Nicaragua. Now all we need is the time off.
Esquire: Another “______ of the Year” here, with the 2014 Lexus IS 350 F sport nabbing the top spot in automotive transportation.
Details: Apparently, there are some serious dining options at airports these days. Huh.
GQ: The only health tips these guys have for us this month include ice baths and hunger striking, so perhaps we’ll get our advice elsewhere for the time being.
Esquire: And the 2013 Esquire Grooming Award for “Achievement in Synergy” goes to: Spirit of the Glen.
Details: We’d love to take the “industry’s leading hand model” seriously about hand care, if only we could stop thinking about this scene:
GQ: “F#%* you! Go back to your little Hamptons house!” —One of the many jeers aimed at Anthony Weiner during his 2013 mayoral campaign.
Esquire: We’ll let you figure out the where here on your own, but apparently Demi Moore’s boyfriend has a pearl embedded under the skin somewhere on his body to add texture.
Details: More on Adèle Exarchopoulos: she’s in a 10-minute lesbian sex scene in the upcoming Blue Is the Warmest Color. Do with that information what you will.
GQ: Harrison Ford has grown increasingly caustic, and his “interview,” if you can call it that, about the upcoming Ender’s Game film is just another example of why that’s hilarious.
Esquire: We wonder how Robert Redford feels about these gents predicting his last Oscar to be for his performance in All Is Lost, currently in theaters.
Details: Corey Feldman admits that he’s jealous of Samwise Gamgee, aka Sean Astin, for getting out of The Goonies unscathed.
GQ: Michael Fassbender is A) a very intelligent man, B) annoyingly handsome in a convertible and C) deeply wary of banks. His suggestion: buy gold.
Esquire: “I forget names. I call a lot of people Bud. It works.” —Indispensable advice from actor Bruce Dern.
Details: Chris Hemsworth is the former star of an Australian soap opera. This is not at all surprising news.
GQ: Warfare in the 21st century, thoroughly personified in “Confessions of a Drone Warrior.”
Esquire: The new American Center. American might not be as polarized as we think. Also, Oprah is the second most trusted figure in the country, so that’s something.
Details: On reassembling a reputation—an analysis of the post-scandal moves of Hugh Grant, Chris Brown and Pee-wee Herman, among others. Plus, a list of “fixers” for erasing blunders of your own.
Surprisingly, Olivia Pope didn’t make the cut.
- — Stephen Praetorius