March Madness

And now, the thrilling conclusion to our March Madness bracket. (Which began here with the Sweet 16.)

(1) John Wooden’s Glasses vs. (3) Roy Williams’s Carolina Blue: It’s come down to this. Pete Carril, our Ivy League Cinderella, had an epic Final Four–achieving run, but his professorial dishevelment ultimately came up short against John Wooden’s prolific eyewear. Bob Knight’s red sweaters were running on fumes after the dogfight against Carnesecca’s Cosby sweaters in the Elite Eight, so Roy Williams’s pinstripes basically cruised into the finals. And now only one thing stands between our two title contenders: which one can cut down the net most stylishly. [Cue the confetti and streamers.]

And your champion is…

John Wooden

It’s one thing to cut down the net. It’s another to actually wear it (and look incredibly cool while doing so). There’s a reason John Wooden is a Kempt Icon.

—N.B.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Najib Benouar