We love our country, but we loathe “God Bless America.”

More specifically, we are vehemently opposed to the compulsory singing of the patriotic anthem 1918 showtune from Yip Yip Yaphank! at baseball games. (Yes, “God Bless America” is a showtune, and one that its author, Irving Berlin, cut from Yip! after two performances because he disliked it so much.)

Nearly a century later, we dislike it so much, too…

Erika David, not even close

As the late, great George Carlin once asked, “God Bless America? What the fuck does that mean? Is that a request? Is that a demand? Is that a suggestion? Let me tell you a little secret about God, folks: God doesn’t give a flying fuck about America.”

Of course like most normal people, we cared deeply about America in the months and years after 9/11 and welcomed the singing of “God Bless America” – or any American song – at pretty much any time. But just as we strongly believe that the televised, overly-dramatic 10th anniversary of 9/11 should be the last of its sort, so too should tonight’s World Series rubber match be the last in which we stop everything to feature one of the single-most tired tunes of all time.

Next season, let’s go back to reserving the 7th inning for fun things like stretching, root-root-rooting for the home team, and buying so many goddamn peanuts and cracker jacks we don’t care if we ever get back. (Huh?)

And if, Mr. Selig, you still insist on needlessly Americanizing baseball at every turn, how about switching to a song with a little balls?

God done shed his grace on thee…

—C.B.S.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • C. Brian Smith