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This is the latest installment of The World Cup According to Kempt™, our series on the stuff that really matters at this summer’s tournament in South Africa.

So the Brazilians just lost, and everyone is wondering why. We’ll tell you why: they didn’t wear their yellow jerseys. What were they thinking? Blue shirts with white shorts are just not as intimidating. They looked like a regular team. Mortal. And after the Dutch tied them up 1-1, they played like it. So many games are won and lost in the dressing room…

—S.D.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Shawn Donnelly