As gentlemen, we would never bet on the outcome of a sporting event. Luckily, we don’t have to.

Come Sunday, we’ll be betting on the outcome of the national anthem, the halftime show and the ceremonial pouring of the Gatorade. They’re part of a slew of online prop bets that have popped up in anticipation of the Super Bowl. And to guide you through the thicket of wagers, we’ve collected seven of our favorites, along with expert analysis of each one.

It’s time to bet the mortgage. There’s absolutely nothing that could go wrong.

A Quick Disclaimer: These are all sourced from offshore, online gambling outlets that, despite the shadiness, are both legal and legit. You’ll need to start an account before you can actually see some of these bets, but they’re all there, we promise.

How long will it take Kelly Clarkson to sing the national anthem?

The Wager: The over-under is 94 seconds, betting $120 to win $100 on either side.
The Source: Bovada.com
The Smart Money: Clarkson’s past performances have clocked in at 90 seconds, 92 seconds and 93 seconds, depending on melisma and crowd noise. It’s close, but we have to go with the under.

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Who will NBC show first on screen between kickoff and the final whistle, Abby Manning or Gisele Bündchen?

The Wager: On Abby Manning, $140 will win you $100. On Gisele, $100 will win you even money.
The Source: Sportsbook.com
The Smart Money: For some reason, Eli Manning’s relatively low-profile wife is favored over an internationally famous lingerie model. Our money’s on Gisele.

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How many times will NBC show Peyton Manning on screen between kickoff and the final whistle?

The Wager: The over-under is 5.5.
The Source: Sportsbook.com
The Smart Money: Six seems like a high number of crowd shots for any single person, especially given how tightly timed the broadcasts have been in recent years. Unless there’s a lot of game stoppage and an extremely low celebrity turnout, we think they’ll stick with five or under.

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Will Madonna sing the words “Like a Virgin” at any point during the halftime show?

The Wager: If you’re betting yes, $100 will get you $180. If you’re betting no, $240 will get you $100.
The Source: Sportsbook.com
The Smart Money: This is a tough one. A run-through of past hits is expected, but Madge could easily opt for “Material Girl” instead. Maybe it’s a strange song for a 53-year-old to sing? With this many unknowns, the best bet is probably to walk away.

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What color will the Gatorade (or liquid) be that is dumped on the head coach of the winning Super Bowl team?

The Wager:“Clear/water,” “Orange” and “Yellow all get 2:1. “Red” follows closely behind with 11:2, and “Green” and “Blue” follow behind at 6:1 and 10:1 respectively.
The Source: Bovada.com
The Smart Money: A quick survey of recent Gatorade baths reveals a strong preference for yellow and clear, so unless you’re chasing a long shot, you’ll want to stick with those. Our experience with the Giants suggests a slight prejudice toward yellow… but you’ll want to follow your heart on this one.

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What side of the ball will the players who perform the Gatorade shower be from?

The Wager: For the offense, $100 will get you $150. For the defense, $200 will get you $100. Here’s a clarification from the site: “Players must be holding a part of the bucket. If there are players from both the offense and defense involved, wagers will be No Action”
The Source: Bovada.com
The Smart Money: The defense are the traditional favorite here, but given the likely odds of a push and the unusually mild-mannered Patriots’ defense, we’re favoring the gentlemen of the offensive line.

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Points scored by the New York Giants vs. points scored by Carmelo Anthony against New Jersey

The Wager: Carmelo gets an extra 1.5 points off the bat.
The Source: Las Vegas Hotel & Casino
The Smart Money: Unfortunately, we don’t know the first thing about basketball.

—R.B.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Russell Brandom