The holidays are full of traditions, but the Friday after Thanksgiving doesn’t have much going for it, aside from the mayhem of discount shopping.

And with everyone back in town for the weekend, it’s a great time to take a break from the family stuff and reconnect with old pals.

Our humble suggestion: something we like to call T.Hanks-giving.

It’s a celebration of friendship, holiday spirit and the filmic oeuvre of a national treasure. Allow us to explain…

While discussing our individual plans for Thanksgiving over afternoon martinis in the well-appointed bunker/salon that is Kempt HQ, a certain Kempt writer mentioned his group of friends’ Friday-after-Thanksgiving tradition: watching a pre-agreed-upon Tom Hanks movie, having a light repast to ease off of Thursday’s gluttony and otherwise drinking, being merry and catching up on the past few months. (Ideally, ending the night at our local dive.)

The moral of the story: puns bring people together. And whether you’re going to celebrate T.Hanks-giving (we hope you do) or some other “friendsgiving,” the idea is ripe for every near-holiday gathering. So we went ahead and filled out the rest of your holiday calendar. Thank us later:

Billy Crystalmas

Steve McQwanzaa

Clint Easterwood

Rosie Perezidents’ Day

Colin Fearth Day

And unanimous Kempt favorite: Goldie Hawnukkah

Unless you’re a “Ch” speller… in which case: Jackie Chanukah.

—N.B.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Najib Benouar