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Celebrating Tweed Day the Only Way We Know How: Handsomeness

  • Najib Benouar

Tweed Day

Breaking news: today is, apparently, Tweed Day.

Now, we’ve taken a pretty hard-line stance against bullshit holidays in the past. We even spent the requisite paperwork and fees to name a “No Bullshit Holidays Day” (get excited for May 10, gentlemen).

But we’ve also been known to bend the rules every so often, because... tequila. And today, we’re revising our stance once more to include the glorious celebration of a fabric that we rely on so dearly during the fall and winter months but won’t see much of for the next six or so. Like most of these holidays, the founding is dubious at best—but ultimately, it feels like a good enough reason to give the rugged wools a proper farewell until we meet again.

So, we present to you: a photographic ode to the handsomeness of tweed.»

Kempt’s 5′7" and Under All-Stars

No one paid much attention to Spud Webb at the 1986 NBA Slam Dunk competition. At 5′7", he was (and remains) the shortest player ever to compete in the contest. The rest of the field dwarfed him by over a foot. Even Dominique Wilkins, Webb’s teammate and the reigning slam-dunk champion, brushed Spud aside. “I don’t think he’s ever seen me dunk before,” Webb said in a pregame interview. Then he did the following:

An elevator two-handed double-pump dunk, a one-handed off-the-backboard jam, a 360-degree helicopter one-handed dunk, a 180-degree reverse double-pump slam and a 180-degree reverse two-handed strawberry jam from a lob bounce off the floor, the latter two of which received perfect 50-point scores in the final round to bring home the gold.

We have no control over how tall we stand—height is fixed from the start. How we stand, though (or soar, in Mr. Webb’s case) is measured in stature. And stature knows no bounds. With that in mind, we proudly present:

The 5′7" and Under All-Stars...»

Mikaela Olsson Has Lost a Button

  • Najib Benouar

Kanye Do It?: Mr. West is already having a busy week, with all the Kardashian-wooing, and now he’s announced plans to field a 30-minute Cannes submission—that he’s yet to roll camera on. [NY Daily News]

Game Recognize Game: According to William Zinsser, the best way to get cast in a Woody Allen movie is to wear ugly sneakers and walk down Madison Avenue. (Speaking from experience.) [The American Scholar]

Lambo Chops: Driven takes us to Beijing, where Lamborghini is unveiling its first-ever SUV. No word on whether the doors will still open upwards. [Driven]

Brothers Bluth: Here’s the trailer for Mansome, documenting Will Arnett and Jason Bateman as they delve into the eternal question of what makes a man handsome. To which we’d like to ask: is this why we’re still waiting on that Arrested Development movie? [Selectism]

Dusting Off: The Well-Dressed Comedian


As connoisseurs of history, we sometimes find styles, trends and turns of phrase from the past that we wouldn’t mind bringing back to the present, Doc Brown-style. This time around, we’re dusting off the well-dressed comedian.

Ladies and gentlemen, this man is a comedian.

Hard to believe, we know, but once upon a time, this was the uniform for a successful stand-up, right down to the skinny tie and the pocket square. If you had the money, you spent it on a first-class suit and then you traveled from town to town looking like you owned the train. (A trade secret: Puns always sound funnier if the guy telling them is dressed like a senator.)

It’s a professional custom we’d like to dust off…

Allow us to elaborate»

Scarlett Johansson is Having a Revival

The Sympathetic Sounds of Sheffield: The British Library catalogued ambient noise from various places in Sheffield, and is currently streaming it through a firm called UK Soundmap. It’s like a vacation in your headphones. [Fast Company]

The Old House: Take a tour through a decaying mansion on one of Georgia’s barrier islands. [Kuriositas]

Tall, Dark and Handsome: Woody Allen is finally making a film about the romantic travails of neurotic, middle-aged urbanites. And it’s about time. [/Film]

Night at the Museum: Chicago’s Museum of Science is looking for something to spend a month living in the museum as a “human subject.” Honestly, we’re not wild about the job title. [Gizmodo]

Laying Down the Law


Give Me Your Answer, Do: Daisy Lowe prefers casual swimwear. [Fashion Copious via Refinery29]

Courtside: The American Apparel/Woody Allen kerfuffle is settled, with Dov Charney on the hook for $5 million. Something tells us the judge was an Annie Hall fan. [Reuters]

World Champions: According to the Toronto Star, Indianapolis is the winningest city in the world, shortly followed by Boston and Vancouver. Mostly, we just feel bad that L.A. was edged out by Anaheim. [Toronto Star]

Silver Rocket: A ’57 Ferrari pulls in $12 Million dollars at auction. Judging by the pics, we’re willing to say she’s worth it. [Jalopnik]

A Malaise of the Sole


Foot Note: Sometimes not even fondling Diane Kruger’s feet can cheer up Quentin Tarantino. [NYTimes]

Down with the Ship: American Apparel’s increasingly bizarre lawsuit succeeds in the difficult task making Woody Allen look less crazy. [Racked]

Thank God For Abu Dhabi: Yes Virginia, there’s still a market for glitzed-out helicopters. Unsurprisingly, it’s in the middle east. [Luxist]

Head On: Apparently Kiefer Sutherland headbutted a fashion designer at the MET Ball. We assume national security was at stake. [Guest of a Guest]

The Old Casino


With all our attention to the new James Bond, we may have overlooked the old one. The 1967’s loveably ramshackle *Casino Royale* is getting a belated 40th Anniversary Edition, giving you a chance to check out the film that almost killed the franchise.

Shared between five auteur-minded directors and even more diva-minded stars, *Casino Royale* is pretty much the disaster you would expect, but as disasters go, it’s pretty fantastic. Abandoned by Peter Sellers halfway through production, the movie ping-pongs between a sinister Orson Welles, David Niven trying his best to add a shred of dignity to the proceedings, and Woody Allen doing his best to turn everything into a proto-Austin Powers sex farce.

In short, it was ripe for a remake.

Bunnies, Snoop Dogg and Woody Allen’s Feverish Imagination


Men of Summer: Playboy and *Mad Men* combine for the inevitable photoset. Sadly, Joan Holloway remains aloof. [Playboy]

You’re the Man Now, Dogg: Snoop Dogg expands his empire into fashion and reality television, branching out from his traditional interests in music, cameo parts, and horticulture. [TeenMusic]

The Nicest: SF’s Nice Collective politely let their Fall/Winter collection out in the world. [Selectism]

Dirty Linens: Japanese linen makes its presence felt…just in time for fall. [IHT]

Allen Wrench: Woody Allen’s production diary, complete with vividly described ménage-a-trois. Or should we say, vividly *imagined*. [NYT]

Jazz Soul Rising

  • Jared Paul Stern

Oscar Peterson

Duke Ellington dubbed him the “Maharajah of the Keyboard” and Count Basie said he played “the best ivory box I've ever heard,” while Ray Charles simply called him “one motherfucking piano player!” Oscar Peterson, one of the all-time jazz greats, died at the age of 82 over the holidays, and we here at Kempt can't help but be saddened by the passing of man who provided the soundtrack to some of our most memorable moments.

More on his 60-year career »