Today’s must-reads from around the Internet.
Welcome to Kempt’s Field Guide, in which our resident MacGyver and in-house shuffleboard pro, Jason Wire, offers practical solutions to all life’s gentlemanly quandaries.
Every night, the same dream.
It’s early evening. Your home is filling with friends. You’ve just taken the Duke of Windsor’s jacket and offered him a glass of pinot when you realize: there’s not a corkscrew, wine key or crazily complicated robotic wine opener in sight.
What do you do? In real life, you keep calm, draw on your knowledge of physics and carry on. And give this list a read, just as a refresher. (In the dream, you… well, keep that to yourself.)
In this new weekly series, we peer into your summer weekend agenda and offer a few essential sundries to help you make the most of your upcoming escapade. This weekend, you’re throwing an alfresco soiree.
Let’s face it: that repurposed keg tub has served as the centerpiece of every outdoor party you’ve thrown since graduation. It’s time for it to leak weird liquid somewhere else. And since you’re already headed to the dump, you might as well toss out the wobbly coffee table, the not-supposed-to-be-blinking Christmas lights and, well, just about everything else that’s been outside for over a year. We know, you kind of like that stuff.
GQ’s interview with Drake this month is troubling for many reasons—not least of which is the most depressing failed come-on we’ve ever seen in a cover story. But perhaps the worst revelation about Mr. Aubrey Graham is his favorite drink: the wine spritzer.
We’ll just say it: you can do better.
As it gets colder and wetter outside, we’re getting ready for one of our favorite traditions, the winter house party—and with it, the alcoholic equivalent of the fall/winter tie.
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s mulled wine season.
Surreptitiously disguised cheesecake has a long and distinguished history, but this is the first time it’s made it to the wine bottle.
Drink ‘n’ Stick is taking the old disappearing-swimsuit trick to the stodgy confines of the wine world with a peel-off bottle that appears respectable through the purchase process, but transforms into an elixir of Eisenhower-era smut once you get it home and peel off the outer plastic layer.
Pepsi can’t be far behind.
We tend to gloss over it, but the traditional dark glass wine bottle is a pretty stunning design object. It’s sleek, geometric, and classy without being ostentatious. In other words, it’s perfect just the way it is.
But you can’t please everyone, so Christian Audigier has taken it upon himself to make French wine “cool again.” Apparently by covering it with day-glo panthers.
Audigier’s trying to draw in the whisky-and-beer crowd, but as usual he’s missing the point. Wine isn’t whisky and covering it with tattoos isn’t going to change that. All it does is ride roughshod over the centuries of French style, and show off his own very short memory.
And produce some extremely ugly beverages in the process.
Pouring wine has long been considered an art form, requiring the proper balance, technique, dexterity, and, perhaps most importantly, an elegant appearance to be suitably performed.
And if it’s shaped like the roots of a tree, even better.
Of course, pouring wine from the glorified decanter is a challenge in itself, but as the carafe drains, you’ll get a separate artistic kick from seeing which strands drain early and which stay full until the end. Of course, the weight will be unbalanced, but the carafe will just tilt over onto one of the other finger-like bases.
Made of borosilicate glass, only twelve decanters will be produced, with eight numbered and signed and four artist proofs. Our only suggestion: make sure you have enough room behind you when serving.
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