Kempt

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The 10 Style Lessons from 30 Rock

The final episode of 30 Rock airs tonight. Forever optimists, we’ve decided to focus not on our sadness, but on opportunities for growth. So we mined the past seven seasons for the most important sartorial lessons the show has offered.

While Jack Donaghy undoubtedly stands head and shoulders above the rest of the show’s unkempt misfits and trucker hats, there are still plenty of examples of what to do and what not to do. And here they are:

The 10 style lessons to be learned from 30 Rock

Enough Is Enough with Throwback Uniforms

That three-hour headache you got yesterday had nothing to do with an ill-fitting Halloween costume or the vertical hold on your television. Rather, the culprits were these 1934 Pittsburgh Steelers throwback uniforms black and yellow stripes, block letters and knee-high bumblebee socks. At times we weren’t sure whether we’d tuned in to a football game or a WWF tag-team bout from 1985.

Everyone knows why teams dust off vintage uniforms: to sell more merchandise. Everyone also knows that the average NFL club is worth $1.14 billion. Which is why we’re respectfully begging NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell (and MLB Commissioner Bud Selig, for that matter) to put an end to this nonsense.

While we’re at it, that’s enough pink for one season, no?

Svetlana Cluck Is No Chicken

via The Libertine

Jersey Boys: ESPN Playbook has just wrapped up a week’s worth of analysis on every professional sports uniform (122 in all) and ranked them according to a green-leaning, purple-loathing grading system. [ESPN]

Horsepower, Horsepower: A spectacular photo montage of all the impossibly beautiful cars on display at the Concours d’Elegance [Gear Patrol]

Drive Anonymously: Now that college football season is upon us, here’s a handy guide on the proper etiquette of attending a road game. [The Triangle]

Zeit-heist: A guide to the greatest pop-culture hoaxes of all time—from Orson Welles to Milli Vanilli. [Flavor Wire]

The Four Most Stylish Olympians in 2012 Will Be from San Marino

In our ongoing coverage of Olympic style, we’ve just gotten word that Salvatore Ferragamo has unveiled his off-duty uniforms for the Olympians of San Marino—officially known as the “Most Serene Republic of San Marino” (and unofficially: rhymes with the name of our favorite ’80s/Dolphins quarterback). The microstate is landlocked within Italy and boasts the oldest constitution still in use. Pretty impressive stuff. They’re fielding four Olympians, who, we daresay, will be the most well-dressed quartet of the entire ceremonies. Finally, we’ve found the team we’ll be rooting for when a medal isn’t on the line.

Olympic Style Circa 1992

A lot of ink has been spilled over the recent unveiling of Team USA’s 2012 Olympic garb, specifically about the berets. But when this photo of the Dream Team popped up on Deadspin, it made us reconsider how good we’ve got it nowadays. (We’ve come a long way since the ’90s.)

But the most striking feature in the off-court uniforms, again, is the headgear. Thanks to Clyde Drexler giving us a look at the crown, we can identify the Panama hats as the classic yet relatively unknown style traditionally called “the gambler” that has been off the radar since Clark Gable wore one in Gone with the Wind. Sure, they’re not called “USA hats,” but America has quite the rich history with the hat. You'll want to brush up with our Gentlemen’s Guide to the Panama Hat.

Red, White and Sacrebleu

Ralph Lauren’s Olympic opening ceremony uniforms for Team USA have been unveiled finally and, as expected, Ralph nailed it with the double-breasted blazer, club collar and white bucks... but we can’t quite wrap our heads around that hat. Is it, dare we say, a beret? It can’t be, can it? You might as well grab the flag out of Ryan Lochte’s hand and replace it with a baguette, draw a pencil mustache on him and tell him to stop bathing all while cooing at him like Pepé Le Pew.

All right, maybe we’re jumping to conclusions here. Let’s just call it a “puffy hat” and leave it at that. (As long as we keep on bringing home the gold and not surrendering to Germany, we should have nothing to worry about.)

America, Buck Yeah

Outfitter to the Olympians Ralph Lauren has unveiled Team America’s off-duty uniforms—what our countrymen will be wearing around London’s Olympic Village when they’re not asserting our athletic dominance on the rest of the world. And while the ceremony uniform is an appropriately summery affair in all white, there’s one thing that had us feeling especially patriotic: those white bucks, red brick soles and all. Ever since the Southern gentleman’s staple migrated northward, it’s become the closest thing to American ceremonial dress in summer as we’ve got. It’s a clever nod to Americana by Mr. Lauren that isn’t as kitsch as stars and stripes. And to that, we salute.

But we’d suggest that our Olympians ditch the socks—and maybe don a little gold.

The Basketball Uniform: An Evolution

Basketball UniformUntil the 1930s, most basketball jerseys fastened underneath the crotch to keep them from becoming untucked.

From trousers to satin briefs, turtlenecks to track suits, the basketball uniform has changed more than that of any other professional sport. To kick off yet another March of madness, Kempt takes a look back at some of the most memorable on-court style moments in basketball’s 120-year history.

It all began as a bit of a joke...»