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The Red/Yellow/Green Guide to Underwear

  • Bianca Monica
The Red/Yellow/Green Guide to Underwear

Advice from Kempt’s resident possessor of two X chromosomes and undergarment authority, Bianca Monica.

My underwear are meticulously folded and organized, in a drawer, by style and color. They’re washed separately from everything else. On date nights, I take no chances. I buy new ones. They’re chosen after at least an hour of browsing. What number date is this? How many errands am I running today? Is it actually Tuesday?

These are the things my underwear and I think about.

And yet, I sometimes get the feeling that you, gentlemen, aren’t putting in that same effort. Even though your entire romantic future may rest on it.

So we put together this Red/Yellow/Green guide on how to approach your drawers.

A 24-Hour Underwear Exclusive


For all the obsessing over sartorial minutiae that happens on the Internet, one of the most important elements of our daily wardrobe doesn’t get much attention: underwear.

And that’s a damn shame.

So today we set out to right that wrong. And you’ve got 24 hours to do the same.

Because our esteemed colleagues at UrbanDaddy and the maestros of underthings at MeUndies are teaming up to get you back on track in the boxer/brief department with three ridiculously comfortable pairs for half off the retail price.

What you need to know: these underwear are designed in Los Angeles and made from the highest quality modal sourced from the high Alps of Austria. It’s ultrasoft. And it never rises. And... well, it’s perfect.

The Exclusive MeUndies x UrbanDaddy Three-Pack is only available for the next 24 hours. So you’ll need to act fast.

You can figure out what you’re wearing over them later.

Use code UD33 to pick up the three-pack.

Boxer Shorts for the Boxer-Brief Era

  • Najib Benouar

The dawning of the age of the boxer-brief basically put an end to the centuries-old underwear debate...

But we might have to reconsider after seeing this new collection of trim, lightweight cotton boxer shorts from newcomers Burtonwode—made in the UK and recently landed in British webshop Glass Boutique.

The five-panel construction is designed to stop any unwanted bunching, and the slim cut mimics the fit of the ubiquitous boxer-brief but gives you a little more breathing room (a precious commodity during this steamy time of year). There aren’t any smiley face prints, but you can opt for an all-over print of purple Einstein busts. Not to mention, they come in some handsome packaging.

More looks after the jump.»

Natalie Wood Has Kidnapped Your Dog

Natalie Woodvia LIFE

”Country Gentleman Copy” Doesn’t Exactly Roll Off The Tongue: Lauren Bans pulls down the definitive Hipster Cop interview. Apparently he’s a big Ralph Lauren fan. [GQ]

Behind The Undershirt: Simon Crompton’s humorously named “Underwear Project” proceeds with an in-depth look at Sunspel. [Permanent Style]

Reasons to Learn to Drive Stick: The 1967 Maserati Mistral Coupe is an extremely handsome car. That is all. [Driven]

Blades of Steel: A guide to the deadly art of knife-throwing. You should assume your enemies have already read it. [Art of Manliness]

The Under Layer

Underwear doesn’t get a lot of play in the menswear blogodome, but from a comfort perspective, it’s one of the most important things you’ll put on all day. And as winter steps up, a stash of soft undershirts can be every bit as important as a winter coat.

As of today, you’ll have a new place to get them.

It’s a London marque called Under (get it?), an up-and-coming underwear brand arriving on e-commerce today. They caught our attention with feather-soft cotton and a preference for faded, heathered primary colors. The result is the kind of undergarment that looks like it’s spent the last hundred years in a deadstock warehouse.

Hopefully one of these days, they’ll get around to making a union suit.

Round Two


We might be in the boxer brief era of underwear trends at the moment, but that’s no reason a gentleman can’t get adventurous.

For instance, these mini-stripe boxers from Jake Joseph might be worth defying a few trends. They’re designed after classic dress pants, with two snap-buttons to fasten at the waistline and single-needle stitching throughout.

The fabric is what you’re used to in a summerweight dress shirt, but more importantly, you won’t find any of the blousiness or excess fabric that dogged 90s-era boxers. These are high-cropped and trim in the legs—a boxer short for a boxer-brief era.

Evan Rachel Wood is Setting the Esquire Logo on Fire

The Old Guard: The Times surveys the economic footprint of workwear, as seen by Allen Edmonds, Alden, and a flock of other newly revitalized stateside shoe shops. Trend or not, they’re still some handsome shoes. [NYTimes]

While Supplies Last: It is time for you to buy a pocket square made from a flour sack. [Fine and Dandy]

The New Bar: Proper return etiquette now involves gushing praise and a whimsical drawing. [You Have Broken the Internet]

In Brief: Fantastic Man and The White Briefs have come together to make some pretty awesome trad underwear. If that’s your thing. [Cool Hunting]

Going Under


Most of our winter gear tends to be bulky outer layers, but it may be time to revisit one of the unsung heroes of the ski set: the long john.

And thanks to Uniqlo’s heat-tech gear, they may be a bit slimmer than you remember. The latest models use special weaves to stay dry, trap in heat, and generally protect your bottom half. We’d opt for a non-waffled pair to preserve the drape of your trousers, but don’t be surprised if these trunks are thinner than you remember. We always knew technology was good for something…