I was late for work last week, moving at a steady clip, when a smiley dude in a purple Phish shirt stepped in front of me and raised his hand. It was 8am on a Thursday and he was high-fiving strangers on the street. When I refused and continued on my way, he looked at his outstretched hand as though it had emotions of its own and said, “Happy National High-Five Day to you, too.”

Keep an eye out for a Kempt story in the coming days entitled “Enough Is Enough with Bullshit Holidays”—but today, we’re focusing on the high-five part of this story. Or, more specifically, on when it’s okay, kind of okay and definitely not okay for grown men to randomly touch other grown men.

Hug it out, after the jump…»
 

ALL The Code