Fact: it takes quite the set of cojones to pull off wearing a Hawaiian shirt.
Also fact: most men don’t have ’em.
That being said, there are some real pros out there who do. And right now, we’d like to honor these brave souls who’ve unwaveringly taken up the charge. Through painstaking research—no scene left unexamined, no paparazzi shot ignored—we’ve uncovered the best and boldest examples of tropical-print artistry. A testament to confidence, these men are standards to aspire to. (At least when it comes to visually making a statement.)
Leading men used to look like, well, leading men: moderate amounts of body hair in appropriate areas and, when the part called for it, moderate amounts of hair elsewhere as well.
Now it seems studio executives only cast protagonists with Bieber-esque hormones (and/or Joan Rivers-esque grooming assistants).
We, like The Hoff, are disturbed by the trend which, regrettably, now appears to be the norm. “Guys used to come to the [Baywatch] set all the time with no chest hair,” Hasselhoff said in a recent interview. “They just looked like drowned rats to me.”
It recently came to our attention that Lloyd’s of London, provider of specialized insurance policies (Fred Astaire’s legs, Keith Richards’s hands, etc.) also underwrote a celebrity’s chest hair. They wouldn’t reveal exactly who took out the policy, but it makes sense: there are plenty of gentlemen who’d be nothing without their chest fuzz.
So in these seemingly endless Jersey Shore-esque days of waxed, hairless torsos, we wanted to take a moment to celebrate the glorious pec-mane. Similar to our “Name That Eyebrow” contest, which awarded winners nothing at all, we’ve provided you with photos of 12 famous hairs of chest.
It’s more 2011 than 1986 (that’s the first button-down collar we’ve seen on a Hawaiian shirt, for instance), but the important beach-ready touches are still the same. We’re talking about the light fabric and the high side vents—the details that make it fit for 90-degree days. The biggest shock is that you’ll have to deal with long sleeves…but by our lights they look better rolled up anyway.
“Icon” is usually used to talk about 60s movie stars or dead painters, but this time around, we’re going with someone a little closer to home. Ladies and Gentlemen, Magnum P.I. himself: Mr. Tom Selleck.