The public apology has become one of our era’s defining phenomena.
It’s usually the same routine: a press conference or talk show appearance is scheduled, there are a few choked-back tears, perhaps beside a dewy-eyed supporting cast, and finally an avowal to right their wrongs. But the one thing that’s not always the same is how the transgressor has dressed for the occasion.
Call it a hunch, but sometime this summer you’re going to find yourself out on the golf course.
It could be this weekend while visiting the in-laws for Father’s Day. Or an impromptu invitation by the boss on the office retreat next month.
Whatever the case, you should be prepared--and have a few tricks up your sleeve—especially if you’re not exactly a clubhouse regular. So we’ve put together a handy little guide on how to take your next round of golf to the next level. (We’ll spare you all the old-fashioned etiquette rules, like keeping quiet during backswings and not stepping across putting lines on the green.)
It was a great weekend to be wearing red: Tiger Woods won his 74th PGA tournament at Congressional, moving him past Jack Nicklaus into second place for total wins, eight short of Sam Snead’s record. Spain, the reigning World Cup champions, defeated Italy 4-0 on Sunday to win its second consecutive Euro championship title, causing many to wonder if they’re the best soccer team of all time. Meanwhile, Enrique Peña Nieto won the presidential election held in Mexico over the weekend—and so begins what will likely be a difficult job for Señor Nieto. Less difficult will be Seth MacFarlane’s negotiation for making Ted 2, as he and his dickish teddy bear brought in an estimated $54.1 million at the box office over the weekend—35% higher than the loftiest prerelease predictions.
In other news, Monday’s feeling a whole lot like Thursday this week...
As you may recall, Kempt recently sauntered back to the Golden (Brown) Age of Game Shows, a glorious, sepia-toned era of wide lapels, sexual innuendoes and long-stemmed microphones gracefully held by extraordinarily tanned and charismatic gentlemen like Richard Dawson. “The way he was on [Family Feud] was the way he was in real life,” said Dawson’s son, Gary. “He not only wanted people to win, but to have a comfortable, great experience.”
Click here for a comfortable, great experience (survey says)...
In the process of researching our game show story last December, we stumbled upon this clip of Dawson’s estranged sons surprising him, on air, for his birthday. We’ll go ahead and call it the most poignant moment in game show history.
Tiger Woods usually sticks with a close-cropped buzz, right in line with his preferred image as an expert technician, but for a few ill-considered months in 2001, he went blond.
It’s a weird move under the best of circumstances. But in this case, it was also an early peek at a moody, attention-seeking Tiger nobody knew existed yet—which just made it weirder.
The bleach didn’t work for one simple reason: he’s no Dennis Rodman. Even now, Tiger has more in common with Dennis Rodman’s accountant. The rebel posture just seemed fake—so fake that it was hard to connect it with anything we knew about him. The face was the same endearing nerd as before, but the hair looked like it was about to start sexting porn stars.
A few months later, he was back to the natural black... but his indiscreet streak was just getting started.
Because they don’t deliver newspapers where you woke up on Sunday morning, Kempt brings you The Reentry:
WHO CARES ABOUT THE AMES STRAW POLL? Michele Bachmann won the Ames Straw Poll, during which 30,000 Iowans ate barbeque and voted on presidential candidates. According to history, this poll doesn’t really matter -- but after this weekend, Tim Pawlenty wants out and Rick Perry wants in. Chris Cillizza of the Washington Post breaks down the rest of the field here.
We love when a person from one part of the world looks like a person from a completely different part of the world. It makes our planet seem a bit smaller. It also makes our planet seem a bit funnier.
Nowhere are there more examples of this than at the World Cup. For instance, you may have turned on your TV this weekend and thought for a second that Adam Sandler (albeit a young Adam Sandler) was playing midfield for Argentina. In fact, it was a 29-year-old named Maxi Rodriguez. (We hear he’s almost as funny.) This got us thinking: who are some of the World Cup’s other lookalikes? Here’s what we came up with…