Close Shave: Tom Ford releases men’s toiletries line (soap, shower gel, aftershave) to complement his signature cologne. Scratch the screen for a preview. Not working? Keep trying—it’ll happen. [DNRNews]

Season Opener: Suit up for the vernal equinox. [Refinery29]

Big Stink: Related - How to look like Colin Farrell smells. [Style Dash]

Mea Culpa; Apparently, a red club tie with contrasting white stripes is the universal signifier for, “Sorry, I was thinking with my jock.” [NY Times]

The Chicer Picker Upper: Ever eloquent with her actions, if not her words, Paris Hilton gracefully ends the celebrity-fashion-line era with her new collection of paper towels. [LA Times]

Plain White Ts: Gap will continue it’s indie designer collaborations program with Band of Outsiders, Michael Bastian, Philip Crangi and 3.1 Phillip Lim. Somehow, Threeasfour snuck in while no one was looking. [Racked]

Mr. & Mrs. Z: Jay-Z once rapped,”Y’all be frontin’, me give my heart to a woman? Not for nothin’, never happen’, I’ll be forever mackin.” He lied. [US Magazine]

“Why does anyone in New York buy ties fully priced?”: Good question, mate. [Permanent Style]

Team Polo: While the Olympic Torch is struggling to stay lit, Ralph is busy outfitting American athletes. [Reuters]

Party Politics: Pro war. Anti war. Conservative. Liberal. The only thing that really matters is where the candidates stand on beer issues. [Huffington Post]

Fresh Fruit: BR Monogram opens today in the Village. [WWD]

Kempt Kept Men: Thanks to the changing face of Japanese sexual politics you can finally be a geisha. [CNN]

Banging the Gavel: With the recent sale of Carla Bruni nudes and the new offering of this Michael Comte Gisele shot, it’s clear that British auction houses are becoming the place for top-drawer spank fodder. [Vogue UK]

Penny Pusher: Every time blue-eyed, honey-blond men’s fashion blogger Amanda Brooks writes a tribute to a male dress staple, we fall a little harder. [Men’s Vogue]

More Cushion for the Pushin’: If you’re using padded underwear to get laid, there’s really nothing we, or anyone else, can do for you. [NYMag]

Supercops: English bobbies may soon have cool designer capes. Maybe it would be cooler if the government gave them firearms, but what can you do? [BBC]

Big Bubba: Bill Clinton uses big fat, dies to distract the eye from his big, fat mouth. [HuffPo]

Stupid is as Stupid Does: England’s premier scientific journal, The Sun reveals that the more educated a woman is, the harder it is to satisfy her sexually. Well, duh. [The Sun]

Preppy is as Preppy Does:Brooks Brothers debuts their Black Fleece collection. [Luxist]

Say, “Cheese!”: Jackass and Terry Richardson—a match made in chucklehead heaven. [High Snobiety]

Waif Wedding: 33-year-old single mother Kate Moss bucks the statistics by declaring her upcoming nuptials. [Jezebel]

The New Demure: Vanity Fair spoofers photoshop the new polygamist-child-abusing chic onto Hollywood’s most desired ingenues. [Vanityfair.com]

Heavy Metal: The most exciting thing to come out of Australia Fashion week might be the illegal use of military assets. [Sydney Morning Herald]

Office Space: ACL visits the busy laboratory of Alexander Olch. [A Continuous Lean]

Drop Them Drawers: Remember, kids, tomorrow is “No Pants Day.” [Laughing Squid]

The Great White North: The Canadian Olympic team’s official gear is designed to combat smog and good taste. [Globe Sports]

Frau Claudia Schiffer Topless in German Vogue: Ja vol! [Egotastic]

Part-time Model Rips Off Boss Marc Jacobs: Good thing the cops got him, because Jacobs will fucking cut you. [Gawker]

Huffpo’s Von Pfetten Doesn’t Go For Pretty Boys: Seriously, girl, why haven’t you called us yet? ]HuffPo]

Clip On Ties: Thom Browne’s rules of the tie bar. [WSJ.]

Tips for Tall Guys: Jalen Rose and Allan Houston share their 6’ and over secrets. [AskMen]

Jugs off the Menu: Williamsburg’s Radegast shelves their traditional-Czech-cleavage-revealing outfits due to the wandering hands of drunk patrons. Way to ruin it for the rest of us. [Gothamist]

Oh Zo’: One of our many, many girlfriends gives Black Book a dose of her loveliness. [Black Book]

And the Winners Are…: Some of our faves, including Scott Sternberg and Tom Ford bring home CFDA awards. [Nitrolicious]

Retail Valhalla: ACL shops at Odin. [A Continuous Lean]

Pick Up: A wallet made for all you weekend guitarists. [Uncrate]

Steven Collaborates: Mr. Alan teams up with Urban Outfitters. [Racked]

The Ties That Bind: The Korean Green Foundation claims that, “Going without a tie lowers the somesthetic temperature by 1 or 2 degrees, which could lead to a reduction in the amount of electricity used and a corresponding reduction in CO2 levels in the workplace.” Treehuggers. [Hani]

Flower Girl: Amanda Seyfried once starred alongside Lindsay Lohan. That wheelbarrow back there is probably a trade up. [Vanity Fair]

Four!: The “Worst Golf Fashions”? Oh, Time, when will you learn? The worse it gets, the better it is. [Time]

Save The Tie!: Hell of a lot easier than saving the whales, no? [Style Savage]

Man Talk: Shipley and Halmos discuss the finer points of male grooming—Joey or Van? It’s Van. [A Continuous Lean]

Mea Culpa: An Italian couple asks forgiveness for having sex in a church’s confessional booth, which we see as kind of pointless. We mean, once you’ve crossed that line, there’s really no reason to even try to go back—hell awaits. [Telegraph UK]

Certified Classic: Salma Hayek—still beautiful, still badass. [Camel Tap]

British Invasion: Save your pence—Topman will arrive any day [DNRNews]

These Nike Canvas Lows Are Kinda Awesome: That is all. [Hypebeast]

Pocket Protector: The history of the pocket square revealed. [Art of Manliness]

Putting It Together: Assembly, the omnisexual store from one of the creators of Scout, is picking up all kinds of press. [We Are The Market]

Misunderestimating: President George W. Bush tells French President Nicholas Sarkozy of his wife, Carla Bruni, “I can see why you married her”. Apparently his degree from Yale was in stating the obvious. [BBC]

Hanging In There: The tie is dead? Go tell it to CBS. [A Continuous Lean]

With ties trending British, it’s a good time to have an overseas source.

A Suitable Wardrobe turned us on to Drakes London, a bespoke tiemaker that specializes in Albion-inspired patterns and skinny-but-not-too-skinny cuts. In other words, the genuine English article.

More on our English Connection»

The death of the tie may be a little exaggerated, but stylistically, neckwear is definitely in a rut. Outside of the skinny/wide dichotomy and the increasing influence of the Britons, there isn’t a lot of new stuff happening. If the tie aisle is ever going to show us something we can’t find in a vintage store, someone is going to have to step up.

And we’ve got a few ideas about who.

For instance, Sovereign Beck»