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The Gentleman’s Guide to Art Theft

You’ve been seeing a lot of daring, eight-figure heists in the news lately, and it’s led you to one inescapable conclusion: it’s time to become an art thief.

And since you’ve already locked down the tools of the trade—dark suits, grappling hooks, etc.—we’ve scanned through the newswires and assembled a few essential tips for pulling off a suitably sophisticated burglary.

Watch out, Monte Carlo...

Three crucial tips for a successful heist»

We Like the Like

This Isn’t Dallas, It’s Nashville: Billy Reid does his part for Nashville flood relieve with a handsome faux-vintage tee. [LA Times]

Topkapi, Here We Come: An art collector in Marseilles gets pilfered, the day after the big Parisian MoMA heist. That “gentleman burglar” gig is looking better and better. [UnBeige]

In the Loop: Quite possibly the coolest gadget video we’ve seen all year. And it doesn’t involve a phone. [Gizmodo]

Tracy Morgan Has Not Been Doing Crunches: A roundup of May’s editorial photography highlights. Who knew Christina Hendricks eating a watermelon could turn out so badly? [Vulture]

The Return of the Jewel Thief


Hard times in London may have brought back the criminal world’s most dapper pastime: the jewel heist. Last week, a pair of well-tailored gentlemen relieved a Bond St shop of more than $65 million in jewelry before escaping in a blue BMW, which was subsequently traded for a silver Mercedes. And that’s only the most recent in a string of thefts that’s plagued London’s jewelry district for months, which suggests the days of the gentleman jewel thief may be returning.

Of course, we at Kempt do not endorse criminal pursuits. But as criminal pursuits go, we definitely prefer the ones that involve luxury cars, daring getaways and expensive suits. If we ever have to resort to extralegal activity, we hope we’ll do it with this much panache.



Domestic Godess: Ms. Deschanel is uninspired by housework. [GQ]

A Thief in the Day: Armed jewel thieves busted up a Cartier shop in Cannes. Adding insult to injury, they were wearing Hawaiian shirts, a serious faux pas on the Riviera. [The Cut]

High Art: Gawker makes the case for the recently-departed Dash Snow as a great artist and a badass provocateur. [Gawker]

Hov Don’t Run; Hov Stand and Fight: The foreign policy community is finally catching on to Jay-Z’s foreign policy insights. The Blueprint for peace? [Foreign Policy]