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A Gentleman’s Guide to Carving the Turkey at Someone Else’s Place

  • Jason Wire


Your girlfriend’s family. Your friends. Clooney.

Odds are, at some point in your life, one of these will invite you to Thanksgiving. (Even better odds if the last two are redundant.)

And there you’ll be, ready to make small talk and compliment the hell out of some casserole, when you’ll hear it: a polite question that’s really more of a demand. Would you like to carve the turkey?

The answer, of course, is yes. But unless you come prepared, things could go horribly wrong.

Herewith, a few key pointers...»

Your Holiday Host Gift Guide

1125hostHED It’s not an insignificant amount of work that goes into making Thanksgiving, well, the best.

And unless you’re the one who plans on spending their Thursday basting, mashing and otherwise preparing for that all-out food-for-all, then you better not be showing up empty-handed. Now, we’re not at all saying you need to spend a fortune. But in the spirit of the day, your hosts better damned well know that you appreciate them putting in the effort.

That’s where we come in. Having combed the Internet so you don’t have to, we’ve compiled some of the finest ways to praise your own pumpkin pie purveyors.

Give thanks, after the jump...»

The Kempt Guide to Your Thanksgiving Weekend

  • Najib Benouar

You did it. You survived Thanksgiving. Now what?

You could join the fray of rabid consumers... or you could catch up on your Kempt, with a few timely reads from the archives that should help you make it through the weekend—like some prescient sweatpants advice, football talk with John Elway or something magical we like to call T.Hanks-giving. Without further ado:

The five Kempt posts to guide you through your Thanksgiving weekend. Enjoy:»

Happy Turkey Day, Internet

  • Najib Benouar

If you haven’t already, it’s time to get started on some epic gluttony, football watching and an appropriate amount of familial rabble rousing. Let’s also take a brief moment to recognize how awesome this photo of Marilyn Monroe is. (Sexy Pilgrims do exist!) Gentlemen, start your carving knives.

We’ll leave you with a few more black-and-whites of sexy Pilgrims after the jump, and see you tomorrow—if the tryptophan has worn off by then...»

Andreea Diaconu Is Thankful for Tropical Weather

  • Kempt Staff

via World’s Best Ever

Brewsgiving: For the vino-averse, GQ has put together some great beer pairings for your turkey consumption. [GQ]

Badsgiving: Spike Lee has put together an epic documentary on the making of Michael Jackson’s Bad album. It’ll be on ABC tomorrow night, about when you’re ready to settle in. [USA Today]

Songsgiving: A definitive guide to the greatest Thanksgiving songs of all time... that misses the latest gem from Nicole Westbrook, but hey. [Bullett]

Healthsgiving: To make up for any food-related transgressions tomorrow, here’s how to turn those turkey leftovers into a healthy California club, courtesy of chef Charlie Palmer. [Valet]

This Friday, Celebrate T.Hanks-giving

  • Najib Benouar

The holidays are full of traditions, but the Friday after Thanksgiving doesn’t have much going for it, aside from the mayhem of discount shopping.

And with everyone back in town for the weekend, it’s a great time to take a break from the family stuff and reconnect with old pals.

Our humble suggestion: something we like to call T.Hanks-giving.

It’s a celebration of friendship, holiday spirit and the filmic oeuvre of a national treasure. Allow us to explain...»

The Reentry: And So It Begins...

  • Najib Benouar

Thanksgiving Day is so close, we can nearly taste it. Mr. Hitchcock is so excited, he’s overcome his aversion to birds. It’s undeniable—the holidays are upon us.

Time to get started on a good six-week bender of reckless food consumption, unabashed merriment and some family-appropriate debauchery. Please leave the resolutioning and course correcting for January 2, 2013.

As a first step, start updating your holiday kitsch.

Winning the Holidays, Step One: Upgrade Your Kitsch

  • Najib Benouar

News flash: Thanksgiving is next week.

Which means, officially, that the holiday season is upon us. And while you might think it’s all fun, cuddling, togetherness and games... it’s not. It’s a competition. And we’re going to help you win it, in this new ongoing series we’re calling “Kempt’s Guide to Winning the Holidays.” (Catchy, right? We’ll be tagging it all, so you can find it here.) And for our inaugural post, we’re starting with the utmost basics: your holiday kitsch.

Here are the five upgrades to your holiday kitsch that should prepare you mentally, physically and reindeer-sweater-ly for total holiday domination...»

Dusting Off: Starting Christmas Season the Day After Thanksgiving

Macy’s first Thanksgiving Day Parade (then called “Macy’s Christmas Parade”), 1924

Target aired its first holiday ad on Monday and we’re not okay with that. Just so we’re clear: Monday was October 15, 71 days before Christmas.

It’s barely gourd season.

It’s also a good five weeks before Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, which has traditionally marked the beginning of holiday season. Target has suggested that its customers would welcome their extended layaway options this year and view holiday ads several weeks before Halloween as a welcome distraction from negative political commercials.

A bit of straight talk: if you need to purchase your Christmas presents on three-month layaway, you’re either shopping for too many people or shopping in the wrong store. Also, exchanging political ads for holiday ads in mid-October is like swapping out strep throat for a stomach bug.

Which is why we’d like to dust off the old calendar...»

Reasons to be Thankful

Off the Cuff: The sharp eyes at Valet spot a new trend: the cuffed trouser. Not for the short in stature, but otherwise good fun. [Valet]

On the Runway: In case you’re stressing out about your Thanksgiving Day flight, here’s a chart of the most frequently delayed airlines—to go with our own travel advice. [The Atlantic Wire]

Tips of a Con Man: If you'd rather just walk onto the plane, the McKays reprint some choice excerpts from Frank Abagnale’s autobiography, Catch Me If You Can. [Art of Manliness]

The French Invasion Continues: A very handsome sweater out of France…but since the writers are English, they call it “an ace jumper.” [Proper Mag]

The Kempt Guide to Thanksgiving Travel


It’s a fair bet that in about a week’s time, you’re going to be taking a trip of some kind. And since time is precious, you’re going to want to arrive ready for a solid session of food, drink and general carousing, with wrinkles in your clothes or fatigue in your body.

Over the years, we’ve developed a near-failproof game plan for pulling off just that. It’s not complex, but it demands rigorous adherence and an almost monk-like resolve. If you’re up for it, we’ve enclosed the three key points after the jump…

Our three-step plan for getting off the plane unscathed…»