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Dusting Off: The Creative Answering Machine Message

  • Caitlin Ganswindt

kate moss telephone

“You have reached the voice mailbox of five... one... four... six... Leave a message at the... To leave a callback number, press five.”

Lately, we’ve realized we spend about as much time on the line with female voice font number 154 as we did with Sir Moviefone in the late ’90s. And you know what? It sucks.

Gone are the days where an eighth unanswered ring was followed by a bite-size sound treat tuned to the melody of “We Will Rock You” or “Bohemian Rhapsody” (Queen was huge among influential answering machine circles).

It’s high time we made those 15 to 30 seconds before the beep personal again.

Herewith: the dos and don’ts for achieving message box glory.»