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Be All That You Can Be (But Get a Haircut)

On the heels of last week’s (relatively) successful resolution in Libya, President Obama’s announcement on Sunday that all troops will be withdrawn from Iraq by the end of the year signifies the beginning of what is likely to be the steepest drop in active service men and women in recent US history.

And the perfect time, according to Sgt. Maj. of the Army Raymond Chandler, to tighten up grooming standards.

“I believe that we can better visualize to the American people and the Army what it means to be an American soldier than we’re doing now,” Chandler told Army Times. “Those can be done through personal grooming standards and standards of appearance and the uniforms we wear and how we choose to wear them. I think we can do better. Now’s the time to take a look at it.”

How high and tight is the Sergeant Major looking to go?»

The Sun is Hot and the Dock is Open

The Non-Hipster Vespa: Here’s a picture of Gary Cooper in a Brioni suit, riding a Vespa. He doesn’t seem happy about it. [Driven]

The Man in the Mustache: Nick Wooster weighs in on tattoos and aging. He doesn’t recommend either. [Esquire]

Another Day, Another Monkstrap: DC Lewis is stepping it up. [The Pursuit Aesthetic]

Seriously, Try It: A brief history of “Try a Little Tenderness.” [The Awl]

Inked Up


If we have one complaint about modern art, it’s that you can’t imprint it on your bicep. Fortunately, it looks like Jenny Holzer and the Whitney have the same objection.

To coincide with Holzer’s PROTECT PROTECT show—much of which is context-free sentences on text crawls—the Whitney gift shop is offering those same phrases in temporary-tattoo form, in fonts that range from 80s metal band to 70s porn. The full set will run you $35 bucks, or roughly five bucks a day until they wear off.

Maybe it’s the Heat


Dog Days: Uma Thurman channels languor for Harper’s Baazar UK. [FashionIndie]

If the Pants Do Not Fit…: O.J.’s acquittal suit goes on the block, destined for the closet of the most morbid rich person in L.A. County. [L.A. Times]

Face the Truth: Ecko’s crew rounds up a few of the world’s more notable facial tattoos. Not a pretty picture. [Complex]

New New Journalism: Breaking: Gay Talese is a bit of a dandy. [Men.Style]

Beckham's Subpar Looks, Wrinkle-Free and Lookin' Good, and Some Kick-Ass Shoes


Wrinkle-Free Suits That Look Good: For real? For really real? [We Are The Market]

England's Finest: We don't know many of the names on Esquire UK's best-dressed list. We do know, however, that David Beckham is not amoung them. [IndependentUK]

Tennis Anyone?: Crocodiles kill more people in Africa than any other animal. These Lacoste's are killers too. [Hypebeast]

Greener Pastures: Like it or not, John Deere is the new hotness. [DNRNews]

Ink Blots: Your new touch-senitive tattoo will receive even more female attentions than that Tasmanian Devil piece on your bicep. [PSFK]

Alien Slave Women, Woody's Legal Briefs and Lad Nouveau


Space Case: Once, we were grown men who watched football and Westerns. Then, Sci-Fi fox Tricia Helfer snared us her Tholian web of leggyness.[OhNoTheyDidn't]

Shields Up: In related news, Spock goes down hard. [The Observer]

Picking Numbers: Cathy Horyn starts off her morning congratulating her friends at 6267 on their new post as chief designers at Gianfranco Ferre, has a glass of red wine before lunch to celebrate, gets all moist about Scorsese. [NYTimes]

Crimes and Misdemeanors: Forget Beckham, marketing guru and American Apparel founder Dov Charney knows that no one can sell more underwear than Woody Allen. Too bad he didn't ask permission first. [Radar]

New Kid on The Block: Given the criteria, we most likely qualify as "Lad Nouveau." Call us that on the street and... well, let's just say you'd better have good insurance. [Times UK]

"Well-Dressed Rebels": ACL breaks down the stars of April GQ. [A Continuous Lean]

Better Than a Card: Earnest Sewn will be offering discount tattoos for Mothers Day. How come you never see moms sporting "Son" tats? [Paper]