Kempt

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Book Club: Super Bowl Prop Bets

  • Kempt Staff
Book Club: Super Bowl Prop Bets

The big Super Bowl bets—the winners, the spreads—they’re boring. We don’t want to make those. We want to bet on whether someone will scurry onto the field with a tattoo of their failing Bitcoin conversion app on their back, for the free publicity. We want prop bets.

And here they are.

On the Importance of 1993, Beyoncé’s Hips and Fake Tanner

  • Kempt Staff

Beyonce

93 Till Infinity: Vulture explores the idea that 1993 changed the world—including lesser-known facts, like that was the year Moby got his first EarthLink account.

Ravishing Rick: With the news of Richard III’s exhumed bones in a Leicester, England, parking lot, Vanity Fair imagines how that might inform a high schooler’s essay on the eponymous Shakespeare play.

African-Americana: NPR delves deep into Beyoncé’s halftime performance—charting it from its vaudevillian roots to its current-day significance in pop culture and beyond.

But of Kors: GQ gets some timely tips from Michael Kors on playing to your strengths and using fake tanner.

Quoth Ray Lewis: Nevermore

  • Kempt Staff

Ravens Win

For Whom the Bowl Tolls: Grantland puts the Ravens’ Super Bowl win last night into context.

Slam Dunk in the Dark: How Oreo managed to use the bizarre mid-game blackout to launch a viral Twitter Super Bowl ad that cost 0.0 million dollars.

Photo Finish: The best photos from last night’s big game, courtesy of CNN—plus a five-sentence summary for those who missed it.

Clydesdales and Octogenarians: The Washington Post counts down the five best commercials from last night’s festivities.

You Should Be Reading Kempt Right Now

  • Kempt Staff

Bloggerly Love: Complex rounds up the 25 men’s style blogs you should be reading now, including yours truly. Suffice to say, they know what they’re talking about.

Wind Power: Esquire gets the first look at the Windmill Club’s foray into shirting.

Sinfully Short Shorts: Reminiscing over the budding abstinence promoter Kirk Cameron—and the hilarious video that started it all.

Pregame Ritual: The sexiest Super Bowl commercials in GIF form, courtesy of GQ.

Betting On the Gatorade Bath

As gentlemen, we would never bet on the outcome of a sporting event. Luckily, we don’t have to.

Come Sunday, we’ll be betting on the outcome of the national anthem, the halftime show and the ceremonial pouring of the Gatorade. They’re part of a slew of online prop bets that have popped up in anticipation of the Super Bowl. And to guide you through the thicket of wagers, we’ve collected seven of our favorites, along with expert analysis of each one.

It’s time to bet the mortgage. There’s absolutely nothing that could go wrong.

Our seven favorite Super Bowl bets, and our wager on each one»

The Reentry: January 23

We can say with relative certainty that four men had a rougher weekend than you: Billy Cundiff and Kyle Williams single-handedly lost NFL divisional playoff games for their respective teams, Mitt Romney coughed up a double-digit lead to lose in South Carolina (and, retroactively, in Iowa), and Italy’s least favorite cruise captain Francesco Schettino was charged with yet another count of manslaughter as the 14th passenger’s body was discovered off the coast of Giglio.

So... it could be worse.

Here’s how it all went down...»

Kempt’s Super Bowl Party Menu

The Super Bowl party is a marquee culinary event.

The menu requires a bold imagination and a month of preparation. Sure, you could go with chips, salsa and chicken wings. And, you know, hummus. Again. Or you could make a statement and serve up something as big and powerful as America.

Enter the 3-foot-tall, 319-pound, 540,00-calorie Absolutely Ridiculous Burger, now available for mail order from Mallie’s Sports Bar in Southgate, Michigan. You’ll need a forklift and $2,000 plus shipping, but, as owner/chef Steve Mallie points out, it’ll be more than enough food. “If you figure the average hamburger is a half-pound, going by that ratio you could serve, you know, 700 people.”

Go ahead and cut this one in half.

Great Moments in Sitcom History: A Eulogy – Conclusion

Part One: “We Gather Together” -- The Cosby Show Part Two: “The 20 Year Callback” -- The Newhart Finale Part Three: “Delightful Accidents and Fortuitous Blunders” – Friends, The Jack Benny Program, Seinfeld Part Four: “The Hams” Lucy, Gervais, Silvers, AbFab, SCTV, and The Mary Tyler Moore Show Ensemble Part Five: “We’re in This Thing Together” – Honeymooners, All in the Family, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Roseanne

On February 28th, 1983, 121.6 million Americans tuned in to watch the series finale of M*A*S*H, surpassing the single-episode ratings record that had been set by the Dallas “Who Shot J.R.” resolution. It remained the most-watched television broadcast in American history until Super Bowl XLIV overtook it (in total viewership) in 2010.

Could a sitcom ever again garner such popularity? »