It looks like our Mr. Avery is turning into a jack of all trades. After a quick spell blogging for Men’s Vogue, the man flirted with the idea of starting a celebrity styling outpost in New York. Unfortunately, it seems to have gone the way of disco.

Of course, not one to rest on his blades, Avery is already showing up on bus shelters throughout the nation as one of Gap’s new faces, alongside famous lensman Ryan McGinley and sartorialist Scott Schuman.

Playing for the Dallas Stars seems like such a step down.

We’ve been fans of The Sartorialist for a while, and we’ve never begrudged Mr. Schuman a few side projects, but he may finally have hit a sour note. His latest collab is this microsite with the usually reliable Gant label. The problem isn’t the clothes or the shots, but the people. In ten quick profiles, Mr. Schuman may have inadvertently captured everything that’s irritating about New York City.

Take, for instance, one MacDonald Steffen Huelster (pictured above). He describes his style as “One part Summerset Country Club, two parts Willow River,” which explains the buffalo, at least. But the impossibly preppy name, the WASPy affectation of referring to both of his parents by their full names (Hugh MacDonald Huelster and Christine Steffen Huelster, respectively), and the particularly obnoxious cred grab of referring to his borough as “Brooklyn, King’s County” all mark this gentleman as someone we would like to avoid at all costs. We don’t like to use the h-word; let’s just say it reflects poorly on the brand.

Perhaps an underrated perk of Mr. Schuman’s original blog is that all the participants are silent.

Much as we try to keep things classy, the bulk of the internet has always been composed of two things: pornography and pictures of cats. So when someone has a good idea—like, The Sartorialist, for instance—it’s a sure bet that it’ll filter down into one of those two arenas.

And now, the less interesting of the two possibilities has finally become a reality. Ladies and gentleman: The Catorialist.

The above image, by the way, is captioned “the power of men’s accessories,” and the sound you hear is the internet swallowing itself whole. As for The Nudetorialist, nobody’s snatched up the domain name yet, but it can only be a matter of time.