If you can’t quite put your finger on why things are feeling more summery on Kempt today, we’d like to direct your attention to the left column (you might want to scroll a bit).
We’ve got a fresh crop of seasonal must-haves at the ready for your impending summer adventures. Some can be ordered, while others will require a little creativity and stylishness, but most of all, they’re here to serve as inspiration for the warmer months to come.
Travolta and Newton-John in Grease. Swayze and Grey in Dirty Dancing. Peck and Hepburn in Roman Holiday. Hell, basically any pair of characters in Wet Hot American Summer.
With the sheer volume of steamy summer romance we find in pop culture, you’d think we’d all be bumping uglies the second the temperature peaks above 70.
It would seem that falling madly in love with a stranger was totally acceptable—as long as it began and ended within the confines of June and August, on break from school, of course. Then we’re to believe that once your mandated summer breaks are a thing of the past, so are your chances for a casually balmy two months of abbreviated love.
Persistence is generally considered a virtue. Also: knowing when to call it quits.
Today we’re talking about that second thing.
Because even with the aid of Valentine’s-enhanced romance—and the champagne, the roses, the long weekend in the woods—your last shot still came up short. It’s not that she isn’t a spectacular gal and it hasn’t been great getting to know her... but, alas, the time has come to part ways.
So take a deep breath. Prep some band-aid metaphors. There’s no sense in putting it off:
Valentine’s Day isn’t till tomorrow, but you can already feel it in the air: the unmistakable tingling of a bone-chilling winter frost.
But also: romance.
And since you’re more than likely on the hook for dinner, or at least a starry-eyed stroll, we thought you could use some inspiration for tomorrow’s festivities—with some style cues from history’s most fashionable gents on dates. Just don’t forget the flowers (or in the case of Mick Jagger: cotton candy).
Every once in a while, you find yourself needing to do some wooing (perhaps even on some evening next week). Sure, you’re great at gift giving and a pro at the art of the love letter.
But sometimes, the situation calls for something bigger—a little more intricate, Cary Grant–level wooing. And where does any self-respecting gentleman worth his weight in rose petals get a little inspiration? Why, the cinema, of course.
You’ve been lauded for your handshake since you were a teen. A beautiful union of eye contact, pressure and two perfect pumps. But the world is a diverse and sometimes nefarious place full of French women, Argentine men, Real Housewives, wealthy grandmothers, amputees... none of whom care about your handshake.
This week is especially dangerous: it’s Fashion Week, when New York City will be flooded with designers, Europeans, the wealthy, people who have become wealthy via designing things in Europe... In short, you’re going to need this more than ever:
Advice from Kempt’s resident lady and expert on all things French, Michelle Ong.
If you play it right, the New Year’s Eve kiss (henceforth, the “NYEK”) is the cherry on top of a perfect evening. Like cherries, it shouldn’t be that stressful. Here’s why: both parties are on the same page—no one, man or woman, would rather ring in 2013 blowing on a party horn like some lonely elephant.
And really, those 10 golden seconds leading up to the NYEK are—by far—the easiest window of opportunity you’ll get all year, kissing-wise. The next 31,535,990 won’t even come close.
But as for all things, you need a game plan, so I’ve cooked up a how-to for the three types of girls you might encounter. (Girlfriends and wives aren’t listed—Lord help you if you can’t figure that one out.)