Kempt

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Svetlana Cluck Is No Chicken

via The Libertine

Jersey Boys: ESPN Playbook has just wrapped up a week’s worth of analysis on every professional sports uniform (122 in all) and ranked them according to a green-leaning, purple-loathing grading system. [ESPN]

Horsepower, Horsepower: A spectacular photo montage of all the impossibly beautiful cars on display at the Concours d’Elegance [Gear Patrol]

Drive Anonymously: Now that college football season is upon us, here’s a handy guide on the proper etiquette of attending a road game. [The Triangle]

Zeit-heist: A guide to the greatest pop-culture hoaxes of all time—from Orson Welles to Milli Vanilli. [Flavor Wire]

The Hall of Jackson

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Our dreams of owning MJ’s sequined glove were dashed today as Jackson succeeded in blocking Julien Auction House from auctioning off a few of his more awesome personal effects. Instead, the slate of items will be exhibited and then possibly shipped off to form a kind of Michael Jackson museum.

We’re going to contain our excitement, except to say this: a museum would easily be the best thing M.J.’s done since Dangerous. Consider us first in line.

Leafing through the Julien catalogs is bizarre enough—gaudy, heartbreaking, and creepy by turns—but seeing the items in person would be nothing short of amazing. Race, celebrity, childhood traumas and interior design trends all get mixed together into one glorious nouveau riche trainwreck that should beat anything you’ll find in the MoMa.

At least until they open up their pop culture wing.

All the Bond You’ll Ever Need

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Much like the classical corpus, the world’s supply of James Bond memorabilia requires constant attention to keep it preserved for future generations. Fortunately, these treasures have finally found a home.

A British collector named Peter Nelson has taken it upon himself (via Gizmodo)to catalog as much of 007’s gadgetry as possible, including Goldeneye’s Soviet tank, a handful of Aston Martins, and the titular golden gun. (And yes, for the curious, he did learn to drive the tank.)

Our verdict on Mr. Nelson’s labors»