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A Gentleman’s Guide to Sexting

Tiger Woods

And now for some wise words of advice from Kempt’s resident phone etiquette expert and certified lady-person, Michelle Ong.

Let’s get one thing straight: nothing ruins romance faster than a bad sext.

Even a perfect date can be spoiled if your best-intentioned goodnight message turns into a slightly vulgar description of your “peepee”—or worse, a deluge of winking emoticons and a picture. Ugh. Sure, the standards of courting a lady online aren’t much different from doing it in real life these days, but sexting comes with its own nuanced set of rules.

Here’s how to go public with your privates... gracefully.»

Happy Camper

  • Najib Benouar

We’re of the mind that if you’re going camping, you’ve committed to roughing it—you’re leaving the creature comforts of the indoors for a reason. But here’s one shortcut we’ll endorse: the BioLite.

Esquire tipped us off to the packable stove burner that runs on just about anything you can scrounge up from the woods (sticks, pinecones, etc.), and we’re mostly impressed by its ability to charge your USB device on the go. That means you’ve got extended range on your GPS or smartphone, should you feel like spending more time in the wild than one charge can handle.

As long as you’re using the phone only for emergencies and/or finding the nearest water source—not retweeting @Justin_Buber.

The Lamborghini Smartphone

You know what they say about guys with small hands: they buy Lamborghini smartphones. The phone part of the newly released Lamborghini TL700 is a bit of a yawner, with middle-of-the-road specs via Android and Qualcomm. The rest is a bit of a gagger, with gold casings and a back plate made from crocodile skin. To our comrades in Russia (where the phone will go on sale this summer): spend the $2,750 domesticating this golden crocodile instead of overcompensating for the one in your pants.

Technical Specs

  • Geoff Rynex

Last week, information leaked about Google’s plans to release a chunky pair of glasses that will basically act as a smartphone. But earlier this month, something much more impressive flew a little further under the radar—augmented-reality contacts.

They’re being developed by a company called Innovega with help from the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, who helped give us a little thing called the Internet. They’ll project full 3D and HD images onto what will look like a 20-foot panoramic screen in your field of vision—and you’ll be putting them in by 2014.

Things like this tend to set our minds racing. And the more we learn, the more we get... a little ahead of ourselves. That’s why, to make sense of it all, we like to break down what they said (cold, scientific, occasionally downerish) versus what we heard (majestic, full of hope, in a word: awesome).

The hope and the hype behind augmented reality contact lenses»

Defending the Phone Stack

We’ve gotten a big response to our humble promotion of the phone stack, and it’s led us to two inescapable conclusions. First, this is an idea whose time has come. Second, some stragglers just aren’t ready for it. For every few supporters on Facebook, there was at least one holdout, bitterly clinging to the right to text and tweet while you’re sitting right there. So to speed the glorious chariot of progress, we’d like to piece through the objections one at a time...

In which we respond to the haters and defend the phone stack»

Natalie Martinez is a Big Fan of Cotton

Natalie Martinezvia GQ

Vintage in Miniature: Michael Williams ventures into Levi’s Vintage Clothing’s gallery of terrifying doll garments. Be warned: What you see beyond this link may shock you to your very core. [A Continuous Lean]

Through The Years: A generational guide to using your smartphone. The verdict: You may not want to keep it on the table, no matter how young you are. [GOOD]

Boiled Beef and Arbuckle Coffee: A firsthand look at the lifestyle and diet of a cowboy, circa 1890. Your mileage may vary. [Boing Boing]

Seersucker and Skirted Loafers: A street style session with Nickelson Wooster. The man definitely knows how to wear shorts. [tucked]

Anna Selezneva Is Mostly Focused on Her Drink

Dandies in the Wild: For their F/W lookbook, Isaia takes a camping trip. If you’ve ever wanted to see how a three-piece suit looks with hip waders… [Men of Habit]

Dunderful: A new crop of bow ties, courtesy of the Swedes at Blixt & Dunder. We are impressed. [Cool Hunting]

Stop Telephoning Me-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e: A professional journalist publicly quits the telephone. We give it three weeks, tops. [TechCrunch]

An Unhealthy Glow: An illustrated history of startup founders looking awkward in fashion ads. But we worry there are still more to come. [The Atlantic Wire]

Holly Is Having Second Thoughts About Her Flower Hat

The Wages of Sin: A con artist bilked Best Buy out of $3 million and spent it all on supercars. Maybe he was hoping to escape? [Jalopnik]

Stitch By Stitch: Meeting the man behind Taylor Stitch. [All Plaid Out]

Going Hard: Perhaps you would be tougher if you worked out by punching refrigerators in a makeshift gym below an overpass. [Reuters]

A Guide to Talking on the Phone: Mostly, it’s a little troubling that we’ve reached a point where such a guide is necessary. [Jezebel]

Scarlett Johansson Is Really Enjoying House

We Blame Gaga: The paper of record declares the telephone to be over. Fair warning: many of these quotes were received via telephone. [NYTimes]

We Had Such High Hopes: An elaborate, insightful analysis of why your bracket is now completely hosed. [The Awl]

In the Army Now: Rolex goes military, with great results. [Selectism]

The Raw Feed: Photoplates from some of Sports Illustrated’s best moments, including the Rumble in the Jungle. [LIFE]