And now for some wise words of advice from Kempt’s resident phone etiquette expert and certified lady-person, Michelle Ong.
Let’s get one thing straight: nothing ruins romance faster than a bad sext.
Even a perfect date can be spoiled if your best-intentioned goodnight message turns into a slightly vulgar description of your “peepee”—or worse, a deluge of winking emoticons and a picture. Ugh. Sure, the standards of courting a lady online aren’t much different from doing it in real life these days, but sexting comes with its own nuanced set of rules.
We’re of the mind that if you’re going camping, you’ve committed to roughing it—you’re leaving the creature comforts of the indoors for a reason. But here’s one shortcut we’ll endorse: the BioLite.
Esquire tipped us off to the packable stove burner that runs on just about anything you can scrounge up from the woods (sticks, pinecones, etc.), and we’re mostly impressed by its ability to charge your USB device on the go. That means you’ve got extended range on your GPS or smartphone, should you feel like spending more time in the wild than one charge can handle.
As long as you’re using the phone only for emergencies and/or finding the nearest water source—not retweeting @Justin_Buber.
You know what they say about guys with small hands: they buy Lamborghini smartphones. The phone part of the newly released Lamborghini TL700 is a bit of a yawner, with middle-of-the-road specs via Android and Qualcomm. The rest is a bit of a gagger, with gold casings and a back plate made from crocodile skin. To our comrades in Russia (where the phone will go on sale this summer): spend the $2,750 domesticating this golden crocodile instead of overcompensating for the one in your pants.
It’s no mystery why telephone booths went the way of the hitching post: 90% of Americans now use mobile devices of some sort. (The other 10% use rotary phones to order more hitching posts, apparently.) Yes, the pay phone is obsolete—but we’re not dusting off the pay phone.
Last week, information leaked about Google’s plans to release a chunky pair of glasses that will basically act as a smartphone. But earlier this month, something much more impressive flew a little further under the radar—augmented-reality contacts.
They’re being developed by a company called Innovega with help from the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, who helped give us a little thing called the Internet. They’ll project full 3D and HD images onto what will look like a 20-foot panoramic screen in your field of vision—and you’ll be putting them in by 2014.
Things like this tend to set our minds racing. And the more we learn, the more we get... a little ahead of ourselves. That’s why, to make sense of it all, we like to break down what they said (cold, scientific, occasionally downerish) versus what we heard (majestic, full of hope, in a word: awesome).
We conclude Kempt’s Cell Phone Etiquette Month with what we hope will also conclude the once-delightful, now-grating fascination with “shit people say.” To that (merciful) end, we respectfully present you with: Shit Cell Phone Users (Shouldn’t) Say.
We’ve gotten a big response to our humble promotion of the phone stack, and it’s led us to two inescapable conclusions. First, this is an idea whose time has come. Second, some stragglers just aren’t ready for it. For every few supporters on Facebook, there was at least one holdout, bitterly clinging to the right to text and tweet while you’re sitting right there. So to speed the glorious chariot of progress, we’d like to piece through the objections one at a time...
It's been a busy few days, so you might have been distracted from some of the recent news—like the newly discovered spy software in your phone, the Russian elections and the enormous WWII-era bomb being dug out of a river in Germany. Luckily, we're here to catch you up...