Jay-Z as Art, Kitting Out Your Dog and the Backlash to the Hashtag
- Kempt Staff
Long ago, in a mythical place known as Minneapolis, a baby named Prince Rogers Nelson was born. The ancient texts don’t mention whether he came out wielding a guitar and wailing in a dolphin-like falsetto (but it’s safe to assume he did).
Notes on the life of the Kempt Icon—plus the single he released today—after the jump.»
Last week, we were slightly embarrassed by our performance at Kempt’s annual karaoke gala. So we asked our resident scissor-kick champion, Alex Heigl, for advice.
There are two ways to navigate karaoke: the way of the lurker, and the way of the champion. The lurker attends karaoke only in body, not in spirit; he makes snide comments and half-heartedly mumbles his way through an ironically selected song because he can’t drop his aura of detached coolness. The champion commits, and wins over the entire bar/company/city with his heroic singing.
You are not a lurker.»
At the age of 7, Naftaly Birnbaum (aka George Burns) landed a job making syrup in the basement of a local candy store. When the mailman, a sucker for tight harmony, heard Burns and his pals crooning away on a barbershop number, he brought them out to the street and a small crowd gathered.
“We called ourselves the Peewee Quartet,” Burns recalled in an interview with Cigar Aficionado 90 years later. “Sometimes the customers threw something in the hats. Sometimes they took something out of the hats. Sometimes they took the hats.”
Shortly thereafter, Burns quit school in the fourth grade to pursue show business full time, which at the time meant singing with a trained seal, trick roller-skating and adagio dancing in small-time vaudeville acts. The fact that he managed to do all this while keeping one hand wrapped around a beautiful woman and the other puffing on a long, thick cigar, right up to his death in 1996 at the age of 100, is an accomplishment that baffles the mind.
It’s a look we’re calling “centenarian style,” and no one will ever wear it better...»
As we introduced on Tuesday, the legendary Russian acting teacher Constantin Stanislavski asked new students the following question before allowing them to grace his stage: “Did you come here to serve art, and to make sacrifices for its sake, or to exploit your own personal ends?” In determining the greatest acting performances by professional athletes of all time, we considered this and many other questions: Does the athlete possess both the brawn and the tenderness required to pull off the first interracial sex scene to appear in a film? How do 14 consecutive Pro Bowl appearances translate to appearances on Little House on the Prairie? Is Hulk Hogan believable as Hurricane Spencer, the Hottest Hero of the High Seas?
And that’s when we stopped asking questions.
So without further ado, we give you the greatest thespian-athlete performances of all time.»