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Svetlana Cluck Is No Chicken

  • Kempt Staff

via The Libertine

Jersey Boys: ESPN Playbook has just wrapped up a week’s worth of analysis on every professional sports uniform (122 in all) and ranked them according to a green-leaning, purple-loathing grading system. [ESPN]

Horsepower, Horsepower: A spectacular photo montage of all the impossibly beautiful cars on display at the Concours d’Elegance [Gear Patrol]

Drive Anonymously: Now that college football season is upon us, here’s a handy guide on the proper etiquette of attending a road game. [The Triangle]

Zeit-heist: A guide to the greatest pop-culture hoaxes of all time—from Orson Welles to Milli Vanilli. [Flavor Wire]

A Beard Too Good for this World

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Time for another entry in our ongoing series on the taxonomy of beards.

Imagine you’re a creative type unbound by dress codes and only the thinnest pretense of nine-to-five regularity. You’ve met with some early success—people even started throwing the word “genius” around—but it scared the suits, and you’ve spent the rest of your career being suffocated by unimaginative businessmen, the stolid nature of the entertainment industry and the ultimate venality of the world.

Look on the bright side: While your existence may be plagued with self-doubt, your facial hair problems are pretty much solved.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we present the Stifled Genius Beard.

Perhaps further explanation is required»

The Old Casino

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With all our attention to the new James Bond, we may have overlooked the old one. The 1967’s loveably ramshackle *Casino Royale* is getting a belated 40th Anniversary Edition, giving you a chance to check out the film that almost killed the franchise.

Shared between five auteur-minded directors and even more diva-minded stars, *Casino Royale* is pretty much the disaster you would expect, but as disasters go, it’s pretty fantastic. Abandoned by Peter Sellers halfway through production, the movie ping-pongs between a sinister Orson Welles, David Niven trying his best to add a shred of dignity to the proceedings, and Woody Allen doing his best to turn everything into a proto-Austin Powers sex farce.

In short, it was ripe for a remake.