February 8, 2012 world of men's style / fashion / grooming RSS
“Mustaches”
01/24/12
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High and Tight

Beard Freedom in Disneyland

We’ve always believed that every American has the right to let their facial hair flourish. But despite our follicular freedoms as Americans, Disney has used its muscle as an employer to keep the Magic Kingdom an entirely beard-free zone… at least, until now.

As of February 3, Disney employees will be allowed to cultivate a beard, mustache or goatee—provided they keep it well-groomed and under an inch in length.

It sounds like good news, but we don’t quite see it that way. Sure, it’ll be great to see a few ’staches wandering the grounds of Epcot, and it definitely counts as a win for beard respectability worldwide—but as long as the Disney brass continues to play Steinbrenner, we’re going to have a problem with it. There’s nothing sadder than being a man forced to shave his sideburns by a shift supervisor—especially if the supervisor in question is dressed as Mickey.

And if it’s good enough for Merlin…

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01/17/12
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High and Tight

Yosemite Sam: The Next President of the United States

John Huntsman dropped out of the race for the White House yesterday after a poll indicated he would likely receive fewer votes than Yosemite Sam. Pundits were quick to pontificate on Hunstman, but everyone seems to have missed the real story coming out of South Carolina…

Ladies and gentlemen, Yosemite Sam is back.

Allow us to elaborate»
 

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01/13/12
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High and Tight

Hulkamania in Autumn

We don’t like breaking the hearts of our readers, but TMZ is reporting that Hulk Hogan is shaving his trademark mustache.

The iconic blond handlebar has lorded over Hogan’s face like a peroxided Arc de Triomphe during his 12 runs as a world heavyweight wrestling champion (and oddly, as owner of the most popular 900 number from 1991-93). But as much as it hurts, we’re going to give this news a tentative endorsement.

Naturally, we have our reasons…»
 

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01/12/12
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High and Tight

“Pencil Thin Mustache”: A Glossary of Terms

We hesitate to spend too much time parroting in and around Margaritaville these days, but we’ll say this for Jimmy Buffett: he knew his mustaches.

We’re thinking of Mr. Buffett’s 1974 “Pencil Thin Mustache,” in which the narrator looks back nostalgically on the suave, caddish heroes he aspired to be as a child. We’ve been fans of the tune for a long time, and yet have always seemed to struggle, like Passat drivers do with “Rocket Man,” to understand some of the references. Buffett assures us this is typical of our generation. “The thing about writing a song like this is that the older you get, the more people there are who need an explanation of the characters in the song.”

So we thought we’d provide just that…

Today we present “Pencil Thin Mustache”: A Glossary of Terms»
 

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12/08/11
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High and Tight

Granddaddies of Grooming: Frank Zappa

Ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes on the “Zappa.”

What we have here are two distinct types of facial hair—a slightly longer “imperial” up top and a slightly wider “soul patch” down below. Put them together and you’ve got one of the most memorable mustaches in rock history.

As you might expect, there’s a rebellious origin story. “I had a mustache when I was 11,” Zappa told Simpsons creator Matt Groening in a 1992 interview. “Then in high school I added a ‘Genghis’ [below his bottom lip].”

Displeased by Zappa’s appearance, the principal offered him two options: write a 2,000-word essay about proper grooming or be suspended for two weeks. “So I took a two-week vacation. I showed up back in school with a list of all my R&B records by artist and label, and a list of all the ones that I thought I was going to buy for the next three or four months, and that was my 2,000-word essay. I laughed at them.”

See the Zappa over the years…»
 

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11/17/11
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High and Tight

Grooming and Song: Freddie Mercury

Few industries are as inextricably linked to men’s grooming (or, as the case may be, lack of men’s grooming) than music. Whether it’s Little Richard’s curls or the mop-headed young Beatles on The Ed Sullivan Show or ZZ Top’s cone-beards or the staggering amount of hair spray bottles depleted on glam-rock tours throughout the ’80s, one thing is certain: how you cut it as a musician has a lot to do with how you cut it as a groomer.

The fact is, we’d have some strong (to quite strong) grooming notes for Freddie Mercury—if he were anyone other than Freddie Mercury. Front men of stadium-packing mega-bands tragically taken before their time most certainly deserve a pass from random men’s style bloggers.

That’s not to say we endorse Freddie’s armpits… »
 

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10/31/11
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High and Tight

Out With The Pink, In With The ‘Mo’

Maybe it’s because there were five Sundays in October (NFL’s breast cancer awareness month), but it’s hard to remember a time when professional football players weren’t wearing pink.

It’s an important cause. Women should get yearly mammograms. Men should help them do so. We’re totally on board.

It’s just… well, after five weeks of our supposedly fearsome football stars looking (and in some cases playing) like Barbie dolls, we’re thrilled that Movemeber – a month in which mustaches are grown to raise awareness for men’s health issues – is upon us.

That said, our first nominee for Movember Athlete of the Month is not in the NFL…»
 

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09/30/11
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Current Affairs

The Mustache-Friendliness Index

Ladies and gentlemen, Chicago is officially the most mustache-friendly place in America.

According to a gleefully fraudulent white paper from The American Mustache Institute, the Windy City took the lead thanks to local mustached celebrities and an abundance of mustache-friendly jobs, “such as law enforcement, construction and relief pitching.”

We’d make a joke here, but it’s hard to top the ones they came up with themselves. Runners-up include Houston (assisted by “nearby rodeo schooling”), Pittsburgh (“a historically mustached city”) and Oklahoma City (for “serving as the off-season home to many employees of the adult entertainment industry”).

A goatee census cannot be far behind.

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07/19/11
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Current Affairs

The Mustaches of Power, Part Two

chasecarey

The gentleman above is Chase Carey, first in line to be CEO of NewsCorp if Mr. Murdoch steps down. And by the looks of it, he’s no stranger to mustache wax.

He’s also the latest specimen in our old friend the Power Mustache, also seen on Hawaiian detectives, fixed-gear aficionados and the heads of international banking institutions. If anyone less powerful attempted this mustache, they would be laughed out of the boardroom. Instead, he wears it as a bristly badge of honor. Godspeed, sir.

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06/08/11
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Icon

The Icon: Tom Selleck

Tom Selleck

“Icon” is usually used to talk about 60s movie stars or dead painters, but this time around, we’re going with someone a little closer to home. Ladies and Gentlemen, Magnum P.I. himself: Mr. Tom Selleck.

In praise of Mr. Selleck»

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05/16/11
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Current Affairs

The Staches of Power

John Lipsky

An enormous mustache is an asset to nearly any career, but it’s especially true for ranchers, Belgian detectives and, apparently, monetary policy wonks. The gentleman above is John Lipsky, newly minted head of the IMF, who joins World Bank president Robert Zoellick in the ranks of the mustached elite. If you’re gunning for a similar spot…you know what to do.

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02/14/11
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LinkOut

Sarah Stephens Prefers Powerful Lamps

sarahstevens_crop.jpgvia Fashion Gone Rogue

This is Theodore: Via Twitter, Ghostface offers some timeless advice on romancing your woman for Valentine’s Day. Boats are involved. [A.V. Club]

Portlandia: Stumptown gets its own garment center. [Cool Hunting]

My Home is the Sea: A handsome and well-mustached runway show from N.Hoolywood. [Lifetime Gear]

The Story of the Orabrush: An unlikely YouTube hit to promote better breath. It’s a Cinderella story…
[TechCrunch]

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11/10/10
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Bad Idea/Good Idea

Turning the Corner

3mustaches_crop.jpgvia

One of these things is not like the others.

Two of these mustaches are perfectly respectable Schwartzman-esque lip coverings, happy to live out Movember with respect for their coworkers and deference to the state.

The third one (that’s him on the left) has turned the corner of the lips and is making a break for the border of the chin, where he will buy a motorcycle and make a living selling opium to tourists. And when the month of mustache ends, he might just decide to stick around.

Choose wisely.

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11/05/10
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Formal Dress Required

formalparty_crop.jpgvia GQ UK

A Gentleman’s Guide to Impressing Her Father: Tom Chiarella drops some knowledge on what her father is looking for in a gentleman caller. Good luck. [Esquire]

It Also Catches Soup: Just in time for Movember, a guide to the care and grooming of your new mustache. [Mien Magazine]

The Story of Al Ciongoli: Sart. Inc. tries their hand at sartorial autobiography. [Sartorially Inclined]

Paul Schrader is a Strange Man: One of the greatest exploitation movies ever made is coming to DVD and Hulu. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: The main character has a hook for a hand. [/Film]

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08/18/10
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This Sporting Life

The Mustache of Glory

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In the wake of the World Cup, soccer had all but fallen off our radar—but all it takes to bring it back is a good ‘stache. For instance, this amazing Howard Hughes-esque piece of mustachioed brilliance from Newcastle soccer player/scoundrel Joey Barton.

He’s promised to keep it on until Newcastle wins a game…which, judging by their opening 3-0 loss to Manchester United, might be quite a while.

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06/07/10
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Scene

Kempt Man of the Hour: Andy Garcia

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Laker games are not usually known for displays of sartorial acumen, but as MB pointed out, Andy Garcia made a pretty good showing at Thursday’s game. For starters, he dressed to his age and for the weather, showing off an impeccable summer blazer and unforced pocket square while most of the grownups around him were either in T-shirts or lounge lizard costumes. (Sorry, Jack.)

More importantly, he managed to unironically pull off a Trotsky-esque mustache, which is a feat for the ages. With a touch of gray, it looks downright distinguished. Put it together with those Courbusier shades—just to make sure you know he’s not kidding—and the man’s approaching perfection.

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01/04/10
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Filmic

Stachsploitation

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We’re not much for Oscar-watching, but by now the field has narrowed enough for us to make the following prediction: There will be at least one glorious ‘stache on the red carpet, courtesy of Lee Daniels.

The man who directed Precious has been making the publicity rounds for months now, but every time he shows up on daytime TV, his badass horseshoe mustache overwhelms just about everything he says, shining forth like he’s the second coming of Melvin van Peebles. Even if he doesn’t take home anything, a few primetime cutaways to a mustached man in a tuxedo should be enough to keep the soupcatcher revival going through the summer.

As for the Best Picture race…he’s got a lot of institutional support.

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11/30/09
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Anja Rubik is Well Powdered

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The Abstract School of Makeup: Highbrow fashion spreads win again. [Fashionising]

Hot Fuzz: The mustache craze reaches England, with shocking results. [The Independent]

Type Casting: The Moment delves into the seedy typography underground. [The Moment]

Up Top: Just because it’s Monday: here’s the view from the top of Mount Everest. [World Hum]

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11/24/09
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The Nameless Model

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Somewhere in Italy…: We don’t know who this is, but she should email us. [Fashion Copious]

The Tweed Revolution: A closer look at the origins of Japanese preppy style. Legitimately fascinating stuff. [IvyStyle]

The Northwest Passage: The style of early grunge gets a closer, more adoring look. This may be vintage flannel’s first hagiography. [The Moment]

Stiff Upper Lip: Your guide to this season’s mustache-shaped jewelry. [All the Rage]

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11/23/09
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Good Idea

A Test Drive

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As the growing crop of Movember soupcatchers indicates, the yen for creative facial hair is at an all-time high. The only thing working against this particular trend—other than the rising price of mustache wax—is the uncertainty involved in growing one. Why commit three weeks to cultivating a bushy lip if you don’t have a game plan? Fortunately, it’s nothing the internet can’t solve.

This snap comes from a sartorial consultant/timewaster called Lord Likely’s Moustache-o-Rama (via NotCot), who’s currently modeling thirty-six styles of ‘stache, ranging from the bushy Spunkleford to a sharp number known as the Strumpet’s Delight.

Naturally, it’s hard to pick a favorite—but you can’t go wrong with a Chin-Wagger.

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09/15/09
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A Walk on the Olivia Wilde Side

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Wildin’ Out: GQ spends some quality time with Olivia Wilde. [GQ]

Raiding the ‘Stache: You cannot stop the mustache. You can only hope to contain it. [Blackbook]

Mr. Lauren in Repose: Ralph Lauren is apparently a Batman fan. [VanityFair.com]

Ghost Ships: Malaysia is suddenly swamped with disused tanker fleets. Real talk. [Daily Mail]

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04/06/09
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Object

Put a Ring On It

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Another day, another mustache.

We’ve come across a lot of mustache-related design accoutrements, but this one doesn’t seem to have much connection to actual facial hair.

After all, if it were a real soup-catcher, you wouldn’t want it hanging on your napkin all day. And you certainly wouldn’t be writing on it in chalk. It’s a troubling development, and we’re more than a little concerned for the future. At this rate, a decade from now everything we own will have a Selleck attached to it.

It’s a brave new world out there.

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02/11/09
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Bad Idea

It Beats Working

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Runway fashion is easy to mock… so what the hell, let’s give it a go.

Best Week Ever has summed up the S/S 09 runway season with a set of 25 models forced to dress outside any normal conception of dignity. There are a few missteps, particularly the inclusion of an impeccably dressed older gentleman, but otherwise it’s a pretty good census of the most ridiculous and downright off-putting getups to grace this year’s runways.

See our favorites»

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01/14/09
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Playboy, Beards, and Bicycle Gangs

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Hef History: When pretentious literary quarterlies write about Playboy, everybody wins. We’re still waiting for the New Yorker’s 10,000 words on Hustler.
[n+1]

Stiff Upper Lip: To Esquire, the whole world is a case study on proper facial hair grooming…but the Golden Globes give more of a range than you’d think. [Esquire]

Steel Wheels: Biker gangs are terrorizing the countryside! On bicycles! [PSFK]

All the Colors: The Boston Globe’s handy guide to non-chemical hallucination. Fair warning: you’ll want to keep some ping pong balls handy. [Boston Globe]

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01/09/09
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Mottos, Irons, and the History of the Mustache Trend Piece

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Two States: If you needed a map of all 50 state mottos, here you go. A lot of them are really strange. [Cartophilia]

Clapped in Irons: Kempt favorite Scott Schuman ponders the ideal ironing technique. [The Sartorialist]

Going Mad: The threat of Mad Men without show creator Matthew Weiner is apparently real. Zombie Mad Men? Get worried. [Vulture]

Hair of the Dog: An annotated history of the mustache trend piece. [Gawker]

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