Clean Sheets: Lenny Kravitz, who has bedded about half of everyone you ever wanted to, has become inexplicably chaste. Go ahead and hate. [NY Post]

Big Deal: Emerging designer Alexander Wang signs with Japanese megastore Uniqlo. [Mpdclick]

Don’t Go Away Mad: Vice founder “Don’ts” himself out of a job, trains his jaundiced eye back on the streets. [Gawker]

Peace Out, Suckers!: Valentino disses his fellow designers, takes his basketball, goes home. [NYMag]

The Ride: The Maybach in your garage is soon to be obsolete. [Jalopnik]

Bye Week: Perfect human Tom Brady continues to do opposition research in our fair town. Doesn’t this guy have a home or something? [NY Observer]

Generation Gap: Zac Efron is on the cover of Details leaving us to ask, “what’s a Zac Efron?” [Details]

After the recent turbulence, we’re struggling to adjust to a post-Maybach world. The early signs suggest it’s going to be pretty trill.

My Fashion Life is reporting a 243% jump in jewelry listings on eBay as the price of gold climbs past $1000 an ounce.

In other words, that chain just got 32% gaudier»

Freak Folk: Always on the hunt for a deep, sensitive mate, Natalie Portman is reportedly nuzzling up to Cripple Crow crooner Devandra Banhart. Yeah, we don’t know how we feel about this one either. We mean, he is wearing a woman’s jacket. [Egotastic]

Napoleon Complex: Lil’, wee plutocrat Nic Sarkozy is kicking up a press dust storm in his fierce heels. [Shoeblogs]

What Would Moz Do?: Dress like Morrissey and you’re set for life. [Style Salvage]

Spit and Polish: The geopolitics of the shoeshine. [NYT via On The Fly]

Throwing Sparks: Sharp dockside looks from Philip Sparks. [Philipsparks via Notcouture]

Blinded by the White: N.B. to African-American society partygoers - some photogs may require you use nametags. [Radar]

Environmental Hang Up: Going green starts at your dry cleaner. [Fox23]

Out of Africa: A brief history of the safari jacket. [Mercury News]

New Journalism: The Wall Street Journal is set to launch a new luxury magazine to compete with the Times’ glossy insert, T. Yes, yes - you’re right - they’re calling it WSJ. [Editor and Publisher]

Luxury Hacks: Next time you’re in Moscow, flag down a Maybach. [Autopark]

Home, Jeeves: In other auto news, The Chauffeur magazine has named its “Car of the Year.” The Chauffeur magazine? We should really get our guy a subscription for his birthday. [Autoblog]