Kempt

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Things We Learned at Last Night’s Corduroy Appreciation Club

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Last night we attended the 5th Annual Grand Meeting of the Corduroy Appreciation Club and found one of the most unusual scenes we’ve ever run across, with Technicolor button-downs, rabble-rousing speeches and corduroy in places that we never dreamed it would be.

So in the name of journalism, we’re setting down a list of lessons from the night, starting with an explanation of that befuddling item pictured at left.

The things we learned, in an itemized list»

Ball of Flowers

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There are many theories on the correct way to dress for an art show party, but Takashi Murakami clearly subscribes to the “batshit crazy” school. Try to imagine Damien Hirst doing this, and you’ll know why we prefer Takashi.

This photo comes from the Art Basel show currently happening in Miami beach, so he doesn’t have all that much to lose. Nobody begrudges a crazy artist or two, and after taking a look at their balance sheets, we bet a bit of cartoonish glee was just what they needed.

Lagerhome

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It is an established rule that the farther Karl Lagerfeld ventures outside the stabilizing influence of Paris, the more troubled and chaotic he becomes. Driven mad by weight loss, he’s capable of anything, so when we heard he was headed to Dubai—which seems to occupy its own sphere of madness—we got very, very worried.

Apparently Big K has been contracted to build 80 homes on Dubai’s *Isla Moda*, a fashion-specific outcropping of The World, a man-made island. Each house will likely be decked out in Chanel-ery, fitting with Dubai’s ultra-luxe tendencies, but we can’t help but wonder why Karl got the nod.

Look deep into his eyes. Do you really want to buy a house from this man?

Lagerbear’s statement, after the jump»

We Give Up

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He’s had incarnations as a DJ, scenester, and teddy bear, but Mr. Lagerfeld has finally managed to render us speechless. We will refrain from translating the text, except to say that the ad touts the necessity of neon-yellow vests. And we don’t understand it any more than you do.

Karl Lagerfeld has been comfortably dwelling in self-parody for some time now, but even this seems excessive. We can only assume this is part of the sentence for the French equivalent of a DUI…either that or the man has finally taken leave of his rocker.

With Lagerfeld, it’s impossible to tell.

It’s Kany-Easy

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We’ve seen a lot of weird endorsements, but we’ve never seen anything quite like this.

Ostensibly, it’s an ad for Absolut Vodka, but the Absolut name isn’t mentioned until the final shot and vodka isn’t mentioned at all. It looks like an infomercial but the product is not just imaginary but also impossible. And why are there flying tigers? How could this have happened? How could a video this strange not only come into existence, but be produced and aired on a commercial scale?

The answer, of course, is Kanye.

We examine the curious Mr. West»