Every Wednesday from here on out, we’re giving you a piece of our minds. Actually, more like five pieces. It’s a chance to get a deeper look into what makes the minds behind Kempt tick—you know, beyond the usual Internet handsomeness we’re serving up daily. So welcome to our most personal weekly feature: The Kempt Five.
Typically, one thinks of an heirloom only after it’s weathered a few generations, gathering its own uniquely handsome patina and lived-in warmth along the way. But before it got handed down to your father and his father and his father’s father, it started out shiny and new on some store shelf. And since there are still a few companies out there making stuff that looks timeless and will last longer than you, we’ve set out to find the new breed of future heirlooms in this weeklong series. Today we’re focusing on the little things, like cufflinks, a fountain pen, a signet ring and so on...
With the Kentucky Derby and Cinco de Mayo coming up this weekend (Saturday and Sunday, respectively), it’s easy to overlook that Mother’s Day is right around the corner.
Exactly 11 days around the corner, that is.
So before the juleps and margaritas set in, and it slips your mind to get a card for the woman who birthed you, we recommend you check out the selection at Terrapin Stationers. Perhaps you want to thank Mom for her genes. Or maybe you just want to tell her that she doesn’t suck. That’s your call. We just suggest that you do it on handsome, 70lb, beautifully engraved stock.
That way, she’ll have to forgive you for those angsty teenage years.
In the totally warranted expectation that you’ll be showered with gifts this holiday season, you should be prepared to send some very thoughtful, handwritten thank-yous.
And you’ll want some appropriately engraved card stock to write them on, courtesy of the irreverent letterpress printers at Terrapin Stationers—which happen to be 30% off over at UrbanDaddy Perks right this instant. Whether it’s an obscenely gesticulating Santa or a simple “WTF,” your gifters will surely appreciate the equal amount of thoughtfulness from you.
We’re sure your granny loves a good obscene Santa joke as much as the next.
Not everything requires an Internet search—just a quick glance to refresh your memory on the difference between bourbon and rye or a cut of Boston butt or rump.
And these handsome new letterpress prints from Bearings have got you covered on everything from tying your bow tie to identifying venomous snakes of the South (hat tip). They’re not exactly pocket-size flash cards at 9-by-12 on 220 lb cardstock, but they can be just as helpful framed and hanging in a strategic location—like next to your dresser mirror (the bow tie instructional), over your butcher table (the pork chart) or within eyesight of your overstuffed leather whiskey-drinking perch (the whiskey family tree).
News flash: Father’s Day is four days from now... (that’s Sunday, for those of you keeping score). And if you’re still searching for the right way to say “Thanks for all the shit you do,” here it is, courtesy of our favorite renegade printing press maestros, Terrapin Stationers. In fact, that’s exactly what the inside of this card says—with the word “Father” embossed in gold on the front flap of the substantial 70lb stock ivory paper. They’re still shipping via Priority Mail as of today, but you’ll want to order within the next few hours to have a good chance at the card getting there by Saturday.
Although we’re sure dear old Dad will still be pleasantly surprised once he flips open this handsome profanity-laced card—even on a Monday.
We’ve filed the appropriate paperwork and submitted the requisite $89.50: from now on, May 10 will also be known as No More Bullshit Holidays Day. As you may have gathered from our recent posts on No Socks Day and National High Five Day, we’re done with meaningless celebrations of nothing at all.
A quick reminder that Mother’s Day is next Sunday. If you weren’t just caught off guard by that revelation, you’re probably the type who’s already hunted down the perfect bauble or called in an order of her favorite scented lotion. Congrats, you’ve got “son of the year” in the bag, again. Everyone else: here’s your answer, courtesy of the renegade print-pressers at Terrapin Stationers. It’s tastefully engraved with a golden rose on the front flap, and your well-thought-out sentiments inside. Wrap up a bouquet to match, and don’t be late to brunch.
All of a sudden, you’re giving “son of the year” a run for his money.