Last week, we were slightly embarrassed by our performance at Kempt’s annual karaoke gala. So we asked our resident scissor-kick champion, Alex Heigl, for advice.

There are two ways to navigate karaoke: the way of the lurker, and the way of the champion. The lurker attends karaoke only in body, not in spirit; he makes snide comments and half-heartedly mumbles his way through an ironically selected song because he can’t drop his aura of detached coolness. The champion commits, and wins over the entire bar/company/city with his heroic singing.

You are not a lurker.»
 

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