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This is the latest installment in our heroically gruff series on Hemingway Days, examining the charms of spare prose, sport fishing and all things Ernest.
Look at that beard. Just look at it.
It’s quite possibly the gold standard of over-50 facial hair, the envy of salty gentlemen across this great land of ours. To that end, we’ve put together a quick guide on how to cultivate a glorious muzzle of your own. Gentlemen, start your follicles.
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via NotCotNow that there’s new info on the trustworthiness of bearded men, some kind soul was good enough to put the findings in infographic form to save us the trouble of reading the damn thing. Check out the full image here, listing 23 facial hair configurations in order of honesty. Afterwards, you should be able to properly assess any philosophers, werewolves or amateur wrestlers you may come across. (We’re guessing you already knew about John Waters.)
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Merry, Olde: Gemma Arterton is having quite a moment, particularly among the Britons. [GQ UK]
Night at the Museum: One video can now take you through every painting in the Museum of Modern Art in two minutes. And to think I almost walked there. [Josh Spear]
Grow a Beard, Young Man: Facial hair now makes you more trustworthy. Is there anything it can’t do? [GOOD]
A Singular Experience: The robot invasion has begun, through an oversized Mousetrap game. [Bits]
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This Year’s Model: Vanity Fair singles out their nine favorite starlets. Carey Mulligan seems to find it all hilarious, which seems about right. [Vanity Fair]
The Victory Lap: Free & Easy lands a sit-down with Frank Muytjens of J.Crew, fresh of his GQ/CFDA nomination. And no, for the last time, they’re not a biker magazine. [Mister Crew]
And the Winners Are…: The 20 most buzzed movies from Sundance.
[Vulture]
Putting It On Wax: A few glamour shots from this year’s Beard & Mustache Championships in Anchorage Alaska. Don’t try this at home. [Behance]
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Sheep is the New Black: We’re not sure we follow the plot of this sheep-based editorial…but that’s Vogue Nippon for you. [Fashion Copious]
Padding: The iPad backlash begins in earnest. Get ready to learn what bezel means. [Gizmodo]
God Bless America: A state-by-state look at the vodkas of America. There are many, many more than you thought. [Valet]
Fare Thee Well: The world is one beard short tonight, now that Jon Hamm has shaved off his muzzle for SNL. Light a candle. [Vulture]
We’ve been covering the beard revival pretty thoroughly, but it may have finally broken through to the mainstream.
Following Alice Cooper, Iggy Pop and Cheap Trick, the gentlemen of ZZ Top are taking on model duties for John Varvatos’ latest campaign, a sign that the fur-chinned community is finally getting some representation in the industry.
Can a Beardhead endorsement deal be far behind?
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Your latest fabricated facial hair update: a shop in Portland, aptly named I Made You a Beard, is currently selling this felted model to anyone unable—for reasons of genetics, gender or employment—to grow one on their own.
Of course, it doesn’t have the warming properties of Beardhead, but we’d say it makes up for it in verisimilitude.
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Being genuine is an increasingly rare talent, but the world of modeling wouldn’t be much without it.
Take this gentleman, for instance, from the latest PRPS lookbook. He’s a lot more unkempt than most models, and a good deal older too, but he has a kind of outsider shagginess that more than makes up for it. He isn’t in some Gucci-esque dreamworld; he’s just a guy having a good time trying on clothes. And as a result, the clothes look more natural and wearable than they otherwise might.
Think of it as the benefit of throwing in an unconventional face from time to time. And a beard or two.
This weekend saw the World Beard Championship in Anchorage—the unofficial whisker capital of America—and the most spectacular beards in the country are now available for your perusal.
David Traver took home the top spot for his faux-snowshoe chin-hanger, in spite of a somewhat suspicious dye job that, if we were judging, might have gotten him disqualified. The runners-up sported more interesting handlebar-style beards sporting a stately gray and an impressive quantity of wax (along with an eye-popping pink suit), but they were pretty advanced looks across the board.
In other words, don’t try this at home.
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Playing Dress Up: Christina Ricci continues to mystify us. [The Moment]
By a Whisker: The definitive beard blog emerges. But when will they find room for “The Welles”? [A Continuous Lean]
Rise of the Machines Pt. 7: We are only a week away from the world’s first computational search engine, which may or may not seize control of the world. Stay tuned.
[Gizmodo]
Well Shod: visvim gets a few steps closer to the mainstream…but it’s all still in Japanese. [Hypebeast]
A man’s beard is his destiny, and while we’ve already had our say on exactly how it works out, we’re always open to new ideas…
Neatorama just dug up a Victorian treatise on the significance of facial hair, and it has us reconsidering our whole outlook on things. The book is The Language of the Beard, and according to its author, one Upton Uxbridge Underwood, a man’s whole character can be gleaned from his follicles.
Time for another entry in our ongoing series on the taxonomy of beards.
Imagine you’re a creative type unbound by dress codes and only the thinnest pretense of nine-to-five regularity. You’ve met with some early success—people even started throwing the word “genius” around—but it scared the suits, and you’ve spent the rest of your career being suffocated by unimaginative businessmen, the stolid nature of the entertainment industry and the ultimate venality of the world.
Look on the bright side: While your existence may be plagued with self-doubt, your facial hair problems are pretty much solved.
Ladies and Gentlemen, we present the Stifled Genius Beard.
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The suit’s not bad, but for once we’re more interested in the model’s mug.
The label is San Francisco’s Nice Collective, which makes the beardo-love a bit more plausible, but for all the wow-factor, there are definite drawbacks to using Rubinesque models.
For one, how do you tell what kind of scarf knot he’s using?
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One of the brilliant things about personal style is it can float along independent of trends.
Most designers would never let a jacket this baggy onto a runway. But while the rest of the fashion world is busy trimming the sag off their cardigans, this Parisian gentleman is off refining his own rumpled look, thanks to a baggy blazer, a few loose scarves, and a perfectly grizzled beard.
And, for the moment at least, he has a style all to himself.
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As we start to defrost, a good windproof shell can be invaluable—but (with apologies to Patagonia) goretex isn’t doing anyone any favors.
We suggest paraffin-treated cloth, with enough stiffness to keep the sterner gusts at bay. Filson’s Logger Coat has the kind of indestructible toughness that you’d expect from workwear, so it’s just about perfect for days when you aren’t sure what kind of weather you’ll be facing.
And if you feel like pairing it with a mountain-man beard—or the next best thing—you’ve got our blessing.
The beards of the past are always likely to cause beard envy in the younger, more stubbly generations. It’s a common phenomenon that Freud referred to as “The Bunyan Complex.”
But trust us, knitting facial hair is not the answer.
Hef History: When pretentious literary quarterlies write about Playboy, everybody wins. We’re still waiting for the New Yorker’s 10,000 words on Hustler.
[n+1]
Stiff Upper Lip: To Esquire, the whole world is a case study on proper facial hair grooming…but the Golden Globes give more of a range than you’d think. [Esquire]
Steel Wheels: Biker gangs are terrorizing the countryside! On bicycles! [PSFK]
All the Colors: The Boston Globe’s handy guide to non-chemical hallucination. Fair warning: you’ll want to keep some ping pong balls handy. [Boston Globe]
Now that we see it popping up on royalty, we realize there’s a type of beard we didn’t see in Portland: the self-consciously Arthurian muzzle.
Granted, it’s a pretty specific case, but if you’re an English prince out to establish your maturity, it’s really the only way to go.
Count this as another volley in the Battle of the Portlands: Portland, OR has been declared the most bearded in America by the presumptuously named Portland Monthly Magazine. As for whether they gain or lose points for it…you’ll have to decide for yourself.
The most shocking part is the range of beards the small city manages to accommodate. There’s the Anthrax-inspired chin bar, the bushy mountain man, and even a waxed moustache. Naturally, Maine has a few whiskers of its own, but we doubt they have this kind of range.
Stubbling Towards Bethlehem: A field guide to beards in the wild. [BoingBoing]
No Fun: A night out with Malcolm McLaren involves frighteningly little sex and drugs, and the usual amount of rock and roll. [NYTimes]
Storming the Gates: Jeweler-to-the-stars Stephen Webster takes the reins at the royal Garrad’s firm. Expect to see Queen Elizabeth II in a diamond choker any day now. [IHT]
Well Ironed: Soulless socialites execute Machiavellian schemes…but, you know, in a movie. [The Moment]
The Beardless Leading the Beardless: The recently shaven Bill Richardson stops by to offer some life lessons. [Esquire]
Naval Gazing: Military research finally pays off. In the form of toggle coats. [Selectism]
Bows and Arrows: If you have lived this long without knowing how to tie a bowtie, all hope is not yet lost. [The Pursuit Aesthetic]
Sloppy Suspensions: Sean Avery proves himself to be less than a gentleman. The NHL disapproves. [Gawker]
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Take it on the Chin: In honor of National Beard Month, here are a few of your options. [FashionIndie]
All the Real Girls: Gossip Girl goes completely off the rails. Not that we’re following it or anything.
[Daily Intel]
In the Army Now: Even after the trend has broken and rolled back, military jackets are still pretty great. [Shoptometrist]
Part of the Crew: Even Mme. Obama loves J. Crew, which means their world takeover is nearly complete.
[Jezebel]
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The fine folks at Remington just alerted us to the fact that November is National Beard Month, which got us thinking about the mountain man look, in addition to making us wonder exactly how high the bar is for national month-long holidays.
Of course, the grooming end of workwear has always been amenable to a little well-trimmed stubble, but a full Morrison-style chin-hanger requires the kind of dedication you don’t see much outside of hipster enclaves anymore. It may not make your HR director happy, but that’s just the price you pay.
If you think you’ve got the follicles for it, feel free to live the dream.
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As intrigued as we are that the networks’ nightcaps are back on the air, we (and the entire viewing audience) couldn’t help but notice the new sidekicks on both the Late Show with David Letterman and Late Night with Conan O’Brian—big, fuzzy beards.
According to their respective owners, both wooly patches were inspired by a confluence of
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