No, don’t adjust your monitor. Velvet pants are not coming back. They may be shiny and they may be comfortable, but all you need to do is glance at this gentleman’s chin stubble to see the impression it gives.
This one comes from Clemens en August, in an otherwise tasteful autumn and winter line. Normally we’d let this sort of thing slide, but the forces of skeeve are already dangerously powerful.
No, this is not the future. It is just another bad idea.
As we’ve said before, the internet is a strange and frightening place.
We recently stumbled across a site called eMANcipate dedicated to the following simple yet perplexing question: “Why don’t men wear panty hose?”
The answer, of course, is that they’re men, but the folks at eMANcipate aren’t satisfied to leave it at that. The result is a hodge-podge of uncomfortable-looking models and even more uncomfortable-looking calves.
Lest you be tempted off the path, allow us to reiterate: Patterned hosiery is a strictly female endeavor, like childbirth or hosting *The View*. And that’s a good thing.
We’ve often been in the position of trying to convince a friend of the riskiness of heavily knit belts. Yet, as logical as we can be, it’s often hard to convey what a niche item they truly are, and how sparingly they should be applied in any wardrobe.
There’s a lot of past out there, and if you’re digging through it looking for quirky accessories, there’s a lot to choose from. So choose wisely.
In that vein, FashionIndie is taking the lead predicting sock garters as the next big trend. We’ll admit they go well with a bowtie, but we just don’t see this happening. Elastic technology has come a long way in the last 80 years, so it’s a lot of straps with no real purpose.
And, unfortunately for this gentleman, they’re usually worn under the pant leg.
When does a manly carryall become completely unacceptable? A bag is a bag is a bag, right?
Apparently not. We were impressed by acquire digging up this felt messenger bag, until we looked a little closer. Those “bottle pockets” aren’t for Aquafina, and it’s not waterproof because they want you to take it rafting. As for the built-in changing pad, it pretty much speaks for itself.
That’s right, gentlemen. It’s a diaper bag.
We’re just so disappointed. After a week or so, that felt will have absorbed all sorts of unpleasant odors. Here’s hoping nobody uses this for its intended purpose. You’ll ruin a perfectly good carryall.
Still, imagine the horrifying world we would enter if this sort of thing becomes common practice. So far the world of art and the world of things-you-can-imprint-on-your-jeans have remained blissfully separate. Nobody wants to see a formaldehyde-soaked shark sewn into your Levi’s. Pretty soon, that grungy-looking fellow with the paint-splattered chinos will be asking if you like his Pollocks.
We love innovation—and the fashion business certainly needs more not less—but it’s a risky business. For every good idea, there’s ten different bad ones, and for every genuine trendsetter, there’s another guy who’s wearing glued-together patches of denim.
Today, Radar printed a call-to-arms against the rising tide of club-goers in deep V-necks. According to the article, which had the good grace to mention us as a source, the deep-V has replaced the striped shirt as the go-to outfit for the huddled masses crowding the door at the clubs everywhere. And if the bouncer reads Radar, God help you.
The history of the novelty tie is pretty sordid. But even the piano-key necktie has the virtue of actually being a tie. This unfortunate item is really just the idea of a tie. And, as you may have guessed, it’s a very bad idea.
As usual, the mistake here is in the “quick” part. Wrapping a coat hanger around your neck may seem faster and easier than a half-Windsor, but if you’re in that much of a hurry, you might consider going tieless.
The utili-tie to the left is a prime example. At first, it seems like the ideal combination of the sartorial charms of the necktie with the practical need to carry safety scissors, a set of paper clips, a ruler, a passport, and various other office essentials. But after you consider it for more than thirty seconds, it becomes clear that the tie is wildly inefficient at both its intended uses. It’s not entirely useless, but even if it existed, it would never be used. It is, in other words, Chindogu.