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When we first heard that *Harry Potter* menace Daniel Radcliffe was appearing in a new Broadway play which required him to get naked and fondle horses, we resolved to steer clear of the Theater District for the duration—that is, after the box office corrected our misapprehension that *Radcliffe girls* were getting naked. Apparently however it appears that a D. Radcliffe *au naturel* is infinitely preferable to one allowed to dress himself, as he showed at the *Equus* premiere the other night with this regrettable blue tuxedo.

For the record, then: if you are already rather twerpish in appearance, do not accentuate it any further with an elfin ensemble such as this. If you *do* choose to wear an electric blue suit against all better judgment, do not also wear a tiny novelty tie that looks as if it’s ashamed to be seen around your scrawny neck. And lastly, if you will blindly ignore all our other caveats and insist on this ludicrous course of clothing, for god’s sake get a decent shave. Trust us, the novelty of growing facial hair will wear off in time.

See Mr. Radcliffe full size

-J.P.S.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Russell Brandom