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Ladies and Gentlemen, this man is an asshole.

Our old friend Jared Paul Stern just filed this dispatch from the world of unimaginable wealth. He’s tasked with the world’s richest asshole, and we have to hand it to him: he made a pretty good choice. Introducing Mr. Marcus von Anhalt…

As you can see, von Anhalt is guilty of a whole host of sartorial crimes—over-gelled hair, over-tanning, and abuse of bling for starters—but he’s also one case where unforgivable tackiness coincides with a genuinely unpleasant human being. Which is to say, the white ermine coat is the least of his sins.

In fact, von Anhalt is an honest-to-goodness pimp—and not the fun, Snoop Dogg kind. He was convicted of human trafficking and made a great deal of his money off prostitution, making the endless pictures of him surrounded by anonymous women a good deal more sinister than usual.

And while we’re not sure he’s quite rich enough to take the top spot, he’s probably crass enough to make up the difference.

—R.B.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Russell Brandom