Dear Mr. Kent,

On behalf of bloggers everywhere, we’d like to welcome you to New Media.

Like you, we once believed in print journalism. We had subscriptions to things. We creased newspapers and dug into below-the-fold stories about stray dogs and corruption within the gas company. We snickered at comics, replied to classified ads and (acted like we) did the Sunday crossword.

We saw Newsies twice.

But as you so Jerry McGuire-ly (and Sorken-esque-ly) announced to the staff of the Daily Planet, the thrill is gone—journalism has given way to entertainment.

Consider us the best of both…

Granted, we don’t really cover hard news here at Kempt—playboys and pocket squares, mostly. And it’s safe to say we’re neither faster than a speeding bullet nor able to leap over anything much bigger than a breadbasket.

But when it comes to blogging in style, we’re (strong to) quite stronger than a locomotive.

Which is why we’d respectfully suggest that you:

1. Lose the hat, take the specs (and the cannoli, if applicable).
You’re working from home now, so low-fi the wardrobe. Maybe not to South Korean proportions, but at least loosen the tie to late-afternoon height.

2. Remember to use your speaking voice.
Keep Lois Lane in your plan. Resist the urge to order out lunch from Seamless.com and at least engage the guy at the hot dog stand. Blogging is an introverted medium, and you’re not exactly Chris Matthews to begin with.

3. Sweatpants are your new best friends.
These are great for watching football and for blogging about revisions to city zoning laws. (Tights and capes fit nicely underneath, too.)

Godspeed, Superman. Rest assured, we’ll be adding your RSS feed to our Google Reader account. In the meantime, we took the liberty of gathering a few photos of your six years at the Daily Planet to add to your farewell dinner slideshow.

Hopefully Buffalo Wild Wings has a projector.

Sincerely,

The Kempt Editorial Team

CONTRIBUTORS

  • C. Brian Smith