FaceLube

I wasn’t expecting to discover a three-step men’s facial cleanser and anti-aging formula designed to look like automotive oil in the Kempt mailbox. And I certainly wasn’t expecting it to be made from caviar.

But when duty calls, I answer.

Long story short, I’ve been using FaceLube® Finest Germany [sic] Engineering and Men’s Anti-Aging Skin Care Technology for a Man’s Man® for weeks now—and as you might expect, some pros and cons have been identified…

Pro: The product works. In spite of my skepticism, after using FaceLube® for one month, my skin felt softer and healthier. Several people actually asked if I’d recently gotten a facial.
Con: I could have recently gotten five facials with the $245 I spent on FaceLube®.

Pro: FaceLube® recently became the Official Men’s Skin Care Partner of the USLMRA (United States Lawn Mower Racing Association)
Con: FaceLube® recently became the Official Men’s Skin Care Partner of the USLMRA (United States Lawn Mower Racing Association)

Pro: FaceLube® His and Her Mug Set
Con: FaceLube® $5,000 jingle contest

Pro: FaceLube® FAQ Section—“Straight Talk About Men” “Q: I think skin care and face creams are ‘girly’ and for ladies. A: Yes, we agree.”
Con: “The FaceLube® Story” as told by founder and CEO Candace Chen. “There’s more to me than just an above-average automotive IQ. And when word got out that I was going into the beauty business, my male friends and colleagues started asking me for skin care advice. I guess because you could say I’m like one of the boys. At first I hesitated to give masculine skin care advice because, at the time, I knew very little about men’s face care.”

Pro: Nearly all of the customer reviews on Amazon about FaceLube® are glowing.
Con: Nearly all of the customer reviews on Amazon about FaceLube® are fake. And appear to have been written by FaceLube® founder & CEO Candace Chen. (Really, Candace? You expect us to believe 12 different Amazon customers only reviewed FaceLube® and loved it?) (Okay, “Cindy’s Husband” also reviewed an English-to-Chinese translating pen. But that’s it.) Kind of a rookie mistake for someone who claims to be an expert on How to Make a Fortune in The Next Amazon, Facebook, or Google of the Beauty Industry! [sic]

In the end, while I’m pleased with the way FaceLube® has improved my skin, I don’t think I’ll be headed back to Meineke for more when this batch runs out. It’s all just a little too… weird for me.

That said, if they come out with a toning eye cream, all bets are off.

—C.B.S.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • C. Brian Smith