Ladies and gentlemen, Klaus Kinski has a cologne.

Twenty years after his death, the intense German actor’s estate has unveiled Kinski the Fragrance, an olfactory tribute to the star of Aguirre, Fitzcarraldo and For a Few Dollars More.

There are a number of red flags here—including the fact that the url is on the box, is apparently still available for purchase—but in the name of journalism, we offered our female friends and colleagues a whiff of Kinski and polled them to see if the estate had produced a scent as erotically powerful as the man himself.

Here are a few of the responses:

Paint thinner.

Like Hunter S. Thompson after an orgy.

This is how I imagine Nosferatu smells.

Definitely automotive. Not gasoline, but some other fluid that’s in your car.

Like inner turmoil, which is to say, terrible.

Oh, god. Wow. I don’t know if I can put that into words. I know there’s already a perfume called obsession, but this is what obsession actually smells like.

The critics have spoken.

—R.B.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Russell Brandom