Smell Test

Yup, it’s that time again.

The last time we did a smell test on Kempt, we investigated Michael Jordan’s Flight Sport. And the results were, shall we say, mixed. But this time around, with some samples in hand from grooming specialists at the Motley and our olfactory palate cleansed of Gatorade and sweat, we’re feeling much more optimistic.

The first fragrance from these young-but-well-regarded curators of fine dopp kittery, Atlas boasts notes of cedar, oak moss, leather and green mandarin. And that’s all great. We’re pretty sure, though, that there must be a more expressive way of describing this “clear, strong and righteous” attempt at men’s perfumery. So we had the finest noses at Kempt HQ take a whiff.

What they thought…

It smells like elven teen spirit.

An especially fragrant G&T.

A little bit of mint, a little bit of pine, a little bit of waiting room at the dentist.

It’s clean. Which is cologne code for boring.

It either smells like my father drinking a julep on any day except the Derby, or my last boyfriend, doing the exact same.

It kind of reminds me of a penny-farthing. Or perhaps this hipster I knew with a tattoo of one.

It smells the way that sailing feels.

It’s kind of like getting a shave and a haircut… with a machete.

Popsicles that old men would eat.

I’m just severely disappointed this has nothing to do with the Crüe.

If you’d like to smell like a sailing elf with a penchant for old bicycles, dentistry and nothing to do with Mötley Crüe, you’ll be able to pick up Atlas at the Motley soon.

—S.P.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Stephen Praetorius