We don’t like breaking the hearts of our readers, but TMZ is reporting that Hulk Hogan is shaving his trademark mustache.

The iconic blond handlebar has lorded over Hogan’s face like a peroxided Arc de Triomphe during his 12 runs as a world heavyweight wrestling champion (and oddly, as owner of the most popular 900 number from 1991-93). But as much as it hurts, we’re going to give this news a tentative endorsement.

Naturally, we have our reasons…

We’ve gotten a lot of enjoyment out of the Hulk’s mustache over the years, but like professional wrestling itself, the handlebar is a young man’s game. It’s hard to move on from the look that made you famous, but now that he’s beyond the world of yellow tights and ripped tank tops, it has to be done. Holding on is just going to lead him farther down the road of thinning locks and embarrassing reality shows.

Instead, he’s opted for a clean start, literally. That means a shaved face and a shaved head: the full Willis. It’s a step in the right direction. If he plays his cards right, we could see him as a grizzled ex-marine in the next installment of The Expendables, toting around an M134 minigun like his old pal Jesse Ventura…

Hey, we’re just spitballing here.

—A.P.B.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Andrew Bradbury