Most people, when they think of Richie Tenenbaum (or dress as him for Halloween), opt for the shaggy incarnation on the left. But we’d like to direct your attention to the grizzly suicide scene—particularly the fact that, despite all the gloom, Richie actually gives himself a pretty impressive cut.

Granted, we tend to be a bit “Greatest Generation” when it comes to gentlemanly grooming. More often than not, we look favorably upon the man who decides his Christ-like/Bin Laden-esque days of hair maintenance are behind him. But despite the competition—including notable cuts in Castaway and Confessions of a Dangerous Mind—this particular cinematic shearing is executed to perfection.

Remember, this is a dude who’s not only one of the best tennis players in the world, but also one who’s comfortable living on an ocean liner for months at a time. His fondness for a particular Bloody Mary recipe results in his holstering a capped pepper shaker in his camelhair jacket pocket at all times. Precision is Richie Tenenbaum’s way.

So it’s not surprising that he opted for the scissors over a clunky pair of clippers to go high and tight. And the result—a short buzz that clearly responds well to product—is one we highly endorse. Except, y’know, the suicide part. And the Elliot Smith song.

Though the two are a bit redundant.

—C.B.S.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • C. Brian Smith