Granddaddies of Grooming: ZZ Top
It’s not easy to get a beard named after your blues rock band.
First of all, you’re going to need a beard so outlandish that no similarly bearded person has ever become famous—except for a few Talmudic scholars. Then you’re going to need a hit album, a memorable car and, if possible, some kind of distinctive hand gesture.
All of which is how Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill got the straight-cut, floor-sweeping chin curtain canonized forever as “The ZZ Top Beard,” to the point that it’s now being used to identify bank robbers.
For grooming your own ZZ, Gibbons offers only this advice: “A good conditioner is advisable. Treat it with respect and it will do the same for you.”
Truer words were never spoken.
- — Russell Brandom