We’re all for ingenuity when it comes to grooming.

Anything having to do with minimizing back hair, for example, is good by us.

But there are three products currently on the market that we’d just assume go away (along with the men using these products.)

THE GOATEE SAVER
First of all, we’ve yet to meet a goatee in need of saving. But if you insist upon looking like an aging middle reliever for the Atlanta Braves, at least take some pride in your ability to shape your mouth coat without necessitating a Silence of the Lambs-esque muzzle outlining tool.

THE CREDIT CARD RAZOR
Man’s battle against the five o’clock shadow is as old as, well, shadows. We understand (and support) the occasional on-the-go, late afternoon once-over preceding nighttime activities, but if you’re thinking you need your razor to fit in your wallet, we’re thinking you need to work on some basic time-management skills.

THE SHAVING HELMET
We have a lot to say about this, and yet nothing at all. Perhaps it’s best to let the inventor’s marketing video do the talking…

UPDATE: In case it wasn’t clear, the shaving helmet is not actually real. Hopefully your faith in humanity has been restored.

—C.B.S.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • C. Brian Smith