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Before you read this, listen to this.

Done? Okay, good. Now that you’re in the right frame of mind, we need to talk about a very important issue confronting the United States of America this autumn in the year of our lord 2013: the complete lack of sartorial coordination among Monday Night Football announcers.

It’s a goddamn shame, and we believe it’s time to fix it.

Here’s why:

1. The sartorial state of the MNF announcers’ union is… not strong. Clearly, these men should not be dressing themselves. Or letting their stylists dress them this way.

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2. Uniforms create teamwork, consistency, unity. Hell, it might even inspire Tirico or Gruden to say something… you know, interesting.

3. Gifford. Meredith. Cosell. These guys looked damn good out there, and the Monday Night Football/ABC Sports blazer was a big reason why.

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4. Just look at this damn thing. You’d be crazy not to wear one. Just look at Howard Cosell and co.:

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—P.L.U.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Paul L. Underwood