1209_Travel_HED

As you’ll recall, we spent a whole week preparing you for your holiday travel in style.

But now that you’ll actually be embarking upon your travel, it’s time to get real. So we’ve put together this handy guide on what exactly your travel style is projecting to the rest of the world—and, more specifically, where people might assume you’re jetting off to (needless to say, wearing your neck pillow in the terminal isn’t going to be looked upon kindly).

Where you’re going, according to your travel style…

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Sweatpants: The unhappiest place on earth. (Unless you’re wearing one of these.)

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A Laptop Bag: My grandparents’ home, where I’ll spend countless hours pretending to fix their wi-fi while actually just surfing the Internet after restarting the router. And then spend the rest of the holidays being lauded as a hero.

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A Polo Shirt and Corduroys: Los Angeles. Because this is how people dress for winter in Los Angeles.

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A New Yorker Tote: That hapless small town I grew up in that never understood my witty and urbane ways—from which I’ll never truly escape.

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A Linen Shirt and Shorts: Instead of waiting until I made it to the islands before changing into my tropical wear, I thought I’d rub it in.

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An Obviously Ski-Shaped Bag: If the pom-pom beanie and last year’s lift tickets I intentionally left on my Moncler jacket weren’t already noticeable enough: a little place called Aspen.

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Neck Pillow in the Terminal: I’m going nowhere. Fast.

—N.B.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Najib Benouar